Friday, April 20, 2012

To My Only Son & My Future Daughter In Law (Yes, This Is The "Controversial" Post)

I love all you ladies out there. I mean, for real. Thanks for your encouraging words. I was talked into reposting the post about my little Lincoln and his future wife. Hopefully some other mama will find the humor in it like I did :)!


They all say I favor you.

And they all speak a small amount of truth.

Even one of my best friends says that 20 years from now I will no doubt be sitting across from Dr. Phil on some Meddling Mother-in-Law show where I will be arguing that I am not "pushy", I'm just "really involved".

It's not that I actually love you more or have placed you as my "favorite" child, it's just that my connection to you is far different than my connection to your sisters. So many people told me the bond would be unique, but I just didn't believe it.

From the moment you were born I knew our relationship would be different.

You see, your sisters and I have the same hormones running through our veins which basically binds us for life. We'll hopefully have that "mother/daughter/best friends" relationship as they get older just like my mom and I do. They'll call me to talk about everything and nothing. We will talk about clothes, complain about pms, shop for prom dresses, plan weddings, and wait in line for $5 crockpots on Black Friday.

Lord willing, we will always travel in a pack. I already look forward to those future memories with my girls.

Oh, we also will talk about your new girlfriend that you bring to dinner when we all go to the bathroom together. You might as well know that now.

But deep in my mothering heart, I know that won't be the deal with you. I know that boys leave their moms for a girl that has stolen their heart. That's why I have eaten up every single second of you while I can.

I know that I will blink and you will be running around with the neighbor boys, playing in the mud, working out in the garage with dad, joining the football team, and then ultimately find some know-it-all girl who thinks she knows more about you than I do.

Keep in mind that I spent 9 months carrying you, gained almost 50 pounds, endured swollen ankles, and then had my abdomen cut open to bring you into this world. Maybe you should write those facts on an index card, have it laminated, and always keep it in your back pocket. Just in case you ever need a refresher.

It's probably best that you make sure any prospect is strong enough to embrace 1 mother-in-law and 5 sister-in-laws. She's going to need tough skin. And a sense of humor.

So I thought I'd help you and your future bride out by drafting up a set of vows for her - I will work on yours in the years to come. Please know that these are subject to change at anytime, especially as your wedding gets closer...

I, girl who is 2nd place to your mother, take you Lincoln, to be my husband.

(I also take your mother to be my mentor and go-to girl for all life questions. After all, she does know everything.)

To have and to hold from this day forward.

(And speaking of holding, she should hold all of our children as soon as I deliver. She does have tons of experience and she did raise exceptional human beings like yourself and your beautiful sisters.)

For better or for worse,

(Although I just would like to say that life will always be better when your mother is right smack in the middle of our business. She has earned the privilege of knowing everything about me and my ways. I should probably give her access to all my social networking sites.)

for richer, for poorer,

(Which by the way, money will never matter because my new savvy mother in law can guide me on big purchases, shopping trips, and help me find the best deals on the latest trends...she is after all such a fashionista.)

in sickness and in health,

(And when you are sick, I think your mom should come take care of you because she is the only woman that will ever be able to truly comfort you. She's your world.)

 to love and to cherish;

(Even though I will never cherish you like your mother does. You should call her everyday and remind her how much you and I adore her. Schedule weekly lunch dates with her too so you can get her opinion on important decisions we are making at the time.) 

from this day forward until death do us part.

(Now lets go to the reception where your mom should have the first dance with you.)

I think that is completely appropriate, don't you?

Good, sweetie, I'm glad we agree :).


Hope you all have a great weekend!!


victoria said...

I am so glad you reposted this!

Lyndz said...

As the mother of a son, I am pretty sure this exactly sums up how I feel! Of course we don't have five sisters or even a brother, yet! Thank you so much for reposting!

April said...

This is cute!! I'm glad you reposted. I have a only one child and it happens to be a boy! I worry that when he grows up and marries that we will no longer have the special bond that we do, so I totally feel you here! I loved it!

Romberg Family said...

Exactly how i feel about my son!! Not that he is my favorite but i have a special bond with him!

The Sneaky Mommy said...

Yeah!!!! Wish we could laugh together over this! You made my day! I just read this to my mom and we are cackling away! Hilarious!!!

Carrin said...

I LOVE this post! But, you are so much more opened minded than I am, because I have told Dylan he will never marry and leave me! The bond with a son is so special and unique enjoy every minute that you can.

Mama D’s Dozen said...

Thanks for re-posting. I had missed it the first time.

I simply cannot understand how anyone could read this and come up with the negative comments that they did. Seriously?!?! They must have absolutely NO sense of humor.

Cute post!


Mommy said...
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Mommy said...

I've been reading your blog for months and find you inspiring. You often put my thoughts into words, and this post is no different. I have one boy and two girls. I tell my little guy he won't be allowed to date until he's 40 because I want to keep him home with me forever. We know that is not how life will work out for us, but I can dream, right!?! Thank you for shedding a little humor on this thing called parenthood. Shame on those who have nothing better to do with their time than criticize your blog. Perhaps they should spend that time and energy on their kids. Kudos to you for being a good mom who is obviously crazy about ALL your kids.

Anonymous said...

love reading your blog! I had a good laugh over it! I have 4 boys and one girl! ( i certainly feel sorry for her future boyfriends)

Carrie said...

I think your tone of sarcasm was pretty obvious, and I thought it was halarious...... But I will say, being married to an only child, I am pretty sure my MIL wrote these vows before you did- and was serious about it LOL.

Beth said...

I am glad that you reposted this. I have been crazy busy (you wouldn't know anything about that- would you?) so I have been reading on the fly and not commenting as I would like.
I wanted to tell you not to change a thing!
I love that you have the courage to be honest about the experience of mothering. It is beautiful and wonderful and hard and stressful. Not everyone is willing to admit to the hard and stressful parts, but they are a real part of the adventure.
Also, I have sons and daughters. I only will admit this to people who know me well and know my deep love for all of my children (and apparently you and the rest of the internet...), but my love for my boys is different. Not better, not more, just different.
I get your post. I can not even imagine that one day I will not be my boys' favorite lady!

Thank you for being you. Thank you for sharing the truth about motherhood.

Jess said...

Thank you so much for reposting this! It took a lot of courage for you to do that. I loved this post so much. It was hilarious and heartwarming. I had 3 girls, then had my first son. Had another girl, then another boy. (4 girls, 2 boys in 7 years... much like you!) I can definitely relate to the feelings coming out! I adore my girls! Same goes for my son, but it's just different. That's the only word you can use! Different! I want to hold on to my youngest son who is 8 months old for as long as I possibly can! Love your post, your heart, your honesty, your sarcasm and your "realness" to make everyone else feel somewhat more normal! Blessings to you and write with confidence! :)

Abbey Robertson said...

WHen I read your post about this one being taken down... this is NOT what I was expecting!!
This is hysterical! And brilliant! I do not have boys, but my best friends do and I think they would say the same thing!

Keep up the funny post! Happy Friday!

cowartclan said...

I missed this the first time, and am shocked that it was THAT controversial-- I found it hysterical. I have 3 boys and think this post shone a funny, lighthearted look at how our mothering changes as we (and our kids) grow! said...

YAY!! glad you reposted. It is a precious post. :)

Thoughts for the day said...

This is one cute blog post and if others got 'snarly' about it that is their issue not yours. It is hysterically funny and probably true on many levels.
Your son is a gift and he will be a precious part of your life always.

Jennifer said...

Beautifully written and I could not agree more! I am so going to be that mother-in-law as well, lol...

Cecilia said...

I love your writing and I absolutely love how much you love your children. Ignore anyone who hates on you, they obviously will never understand the different loves that one mother is capable of possessing.

Angie said...

I don't have a son, only a daughter but I can completely see why a mom of a son would feel like this. I thought the post was cute and humorous. Nothing offensive to me.

The Beaver Bunch said...

This was controversial? Clearly I missed it the 1st time. Darn it. I love a good controversy, especially when it's over something so obviously important as a funny blog post. NOT.

Seriously friend, you hit the nail on the head, again, with this one. Thinking that I won't always be my boys' #1 woman makes me want to throw up. But then I think about the joy I have in being BFFs w/ my husband & I pray my boys have the same one day (& the girls too).

Clever blonde said...

Oh Kate that is so funny. I too have one son and 4 daughters I found that a bit confronting to realise I too will loose him to another woman. It'll be good, it's how it's meant to be but such change that will certainly take some adjusting You wrote about it so very well. I love that about daughters -the adult relationships, our girls are adults. It's great, better than when they were kids and grand kids something even more wonderful.
Well I've caught up now. I've read every single one of your posts. I been on quite a journey with you in the last 2 wks. I'm a bit lost today with no post to read. I'm just doing the 'next thing' ATM thanks so much for that, God used you in my life at the most perfect time. Donna G

Rachel said...

Married to an only son and my mil probably wrote those vows for me. lol Hilarious!

Savvy Little Women - Kate said...

Thanks, ladies! So glad I'm not the only "over involved" mama out there ;).

The Sneaky Mommy said...

{chanting} We want more! We want more!
Get those littles off to school and give us more funny! ;)

Ruth said...

Your future daughter-in-law will be darn lucky to have you in her life! *grin*

peapodsquadmom said...

Kate...I just can't imagine anyone dragging you through the mud for this. It is too funny! love you, my friend!