Friday, June 17, 2011

His Timing...

It's a beautiful thing.

I got to thinking today at the pool as we sat on the side and ate blueberries, that it was this time last year that I found out I was having another miscarriage...


(I  know...the goggles...they are fantastic)

A year ago today to be exact is when I shared that we had indeed ended up pregnant unexpectedly, and I was indeed losing that new life that we were so excited about.

I had 5 kids, I was blessed beyond measure, and I knew that the emotion that I should've been feeling the most was thankfulness for my girly brood...

but I was crushed.

Hurt because I knew there was nothing I could do, mad because I had to go through this when we had basically decided our crew was already the size we wanted, and confused as to why God was allowing it seeing as we had hit a comfortable season in our family.

But God doesn't do comfortable...God does change.

And that He did. I knew in my heart after that miscarriage that we weren't done adding to our family. Whether is was biological, foster, or adoption - we were meant to grow.

Even if it was a little uncomfortable...even if we didn't have a ton of money...even if our house wasn't gigantic...even if it didn't seem realistic...and even if bystanders were shrugging their shoulders and asking "why??".

It was His plan for us, and it was Him changing our plans - I am FOREVER thankful for that.

Less than a year later He gave us a sweet little man who literally has my heart completely. An itty bitty miracle that just snoozes away in the stroller at the pool while the rest of us play. A little guy that brought our crazy crew to a half dozen....a number I never dreamed I'd have...


The storms of life are never easy - they are usually rough, confusing, and full of change. But they are always for a purpose, and He always has a reason.

Today I'm thankful for His plan, His timing, His vision for our family, and His love and grace that covers us in the good times and bad.

Sometimes you just have to weather a storm before you get to the good stuff.

And that little, huggable, smiley, sweet smellin' good stuff, was more than worth it :).

16 comments:

Stacie@HobbitDoor said...

Amen! (Tears in my eyes.)

Mama D.'s Dozen said...

So thankful that you heard the Lord so clearly, in the midst of your storm.

We have been weathering one storm after another lately, and cannot wait for the "good stuff" to come. Some days we are hanging on for dear life, but the Lord always sends us a life jacket.

I treasure the memories of my 6 kids in 6 years, and all of the fun that we had together when they were all little ... before our lives got crazy busy with teens and Big Kids. While I know your life is crazy busy, I hope that you, too, will treasure this time. It will certainly pass much too soon.

:) :) :)

Marinewife1111 {Marcella} said...

I was full of emotion tonight anyway before I read this post and it sent the tears spilling over.
Thanks so much for the reminder and your little blessings are beautiful!

Marisa said...

Oh Kate, I so feel your heart on this. It was this time 2 years ago that I had my first miscarriage after Lydia and it was heart wrenching... then to go through another one I just thought "we might be done". I'm so grateful to the Lord that He encouraged us to try again, because now I have our precious bundle. In fact, yesterday I was thinking about how I have no idea why God allowed us to lose two babies, but I can't imagine not having my sweet Ethan!

Sarah said...

Awww! I love this post! Our God is amazing! Love that photo of Lincoln.

Victoria said...

wow, thank you for this post, i am stil on a 3 yr teaching job "storm" right now and it is nice to be reminded that at some point things will turn around.

Your brood is fantastic, how blessed and grateful you are :)

God is great!

*Ross and Katy* said...

I love the bathing suits and the goggles! They're too cute!

And you all are so very blessed and luckily you know that it was all in His timing that you were blessed because you can then be thankful for those cute little kiddos :)

Kim said...

Thank you so much for sharing this story. I feel like I could have written it. We also have 2 sets of twins and a singleton and people think we're nuts for wanting more. But we didn't always want more. We found ourselves in the same situation with an unexpected positive tests a few months back and only after we lost the pregnancy did we realize how much we both wanted another one. God works in funny ways, doesn't he.

Crazy family of 5 said...

I agree! A little over a month ago we suffered our first miscarriage via D&C. I was dealing with the fact that we have 3 great kids but then unexpectedly we were given another. It would have been twins except I was diagnosed with a partial molar pregnancy. I now feel like we are supposed to have more. I am not sure how we can afford it or if it is possible. I was always told that if you wait for the funds, you will be waiting for eternity! Thank you for helping me see I wasn't the only one to feel this way!

jenny said...

This brought tears to my eyes! HIS timing is always perfect and brings abundant blessings, even when we are confused by it. Thanks for this reminder...even when it is hard to wait to see the fulfillment of His promise. And that pic of Lincoln is precious! He is changing everyday....might need to hold him soon again!

Tracy said...

Beautiful. We miscarried #3 and couldn't get pregnant again so we assumed we were done(but never used birth control). 10 years later, God surprised us by opening up my womb and we had 3 right in a row. Looking at it now, I see how absolutely perfect His timing was. To enjoy three little ones a little later in life, with teenage helpers to boot, has been absolutely perfect and an incredible blessing beyond anything I would have ever dreamed. God's ways aren't our ways. So thankful for that. Enjoy your precious blessings, they are a beautiful gift.

Lenae said...

Kate! I love this! Every time I think I have an all-time favorite post of yours, you go and write something like this :) I deeply appreciate your heart for the Lord, and how intentional you are about being open to His will. It can be so difficult to not overly control our lives, or relinquish control when things aren't ours to manage, as with your heartache a year ago. And look at that precious little man you now have... God's plan is best, and it's so very good.

Anonymous said...

Love it. Exact same happened when we thought we were done at 2 kids. A horrible 3rd miscarriage July 3 2008. I just knew after that loss we weren't done...and guess what Noely's due date ended up being.....July 3 2009. It is weird. And if we hadn't lost the ones we lost we wouldn't have the children we are no blessed with today. <3 I am right there with you...although I don't think any more are in our future ;-)

--Laura Oliver
Sorry posted on the wrong post the 1st time lol.

susan said...

I love how you look at things......


you sound so happy. which I love :):)

Tiffany said...

I love your insight. It's truly amazing how God works in our lives. Love your little man and the photo. He is so precious.

The Beaver Bunch said...

There's nothing like the Lord timing, even when we painfully endure the wait. The blessing of your sweet boy is worth the pain you endured, at least in hindsight. But sitting in the midst of our sorrow, we wonder how it could be ever used for God's glory.

After many seasons of pain, where God brought beauty from ashes, I wonder why I continue to doubt HIm.