Thursday, June 17, 2010

I Wish I Had Better News

Well, some of you were on the right track - and I so appreciate your comments...

It's true.

Recently we received a huge surprise in the form of 2 pink lines. 2, bold, lines. I love 2 lines, don't you? There's nothing quite like a positive pregnancy test. No matter if you were planning it, or it came as a total surprise, it's just good.

Just. Plain. Good.

We were truly shocked...and overwhelmed, and excited, and nervous. You know, all the normal emotions. I started looking SO forward to telling the older girls about this new life we had growing in our family, I knew they were going to be ecstatic, especially my sweet Ella - she loves this big sister gig :).

But that all faded to worry when I started spotting last week. After a few visits and multiple blood tests, my Dr. called yesterday morning to tell us that the pregnancy was over - I was having a miscarriage.

I keep thinking I shouldn't be that upset - I do already have 5 kids, and this was unexpected anyway. I should just move on with ease, right??

It's funny, when I had my 1st miscarriage before I got pregnant with Ella, I thought that it was so hard because I didn't have any kids yet - that it would somehow be easier if I had already had a baby. But I don't feel that way anymore, this time hurt just as much as the 1st.

It just stinks.

It's such a relief to know that we have a Sovereign God who knows whats best for us, and knows exactly what we need at the perfect time. He knows every emotion that we feel, and is the only One who can really give us peace. He has been good to us, and we are truly thankful.

So that's the deal. That's where we are, that's what has been going on. A little curve ball, a small bump in the road.

I'm ok, just tired, and full of mixed emotions. But time will heal it, and life will get back to normal - well, back to our kind of normal :). My 5 beauties and I will be back at the pool and Target in no time! ;)

Thanks for listening, thanks for caring, and thanks for your sweet words. You all are SO great!

44 comments:

Mama D.'s Dozen said...

So so sorry! I, too, lost a little one before I got to say, "hello". I was 13 weeks along. Others said, "Aren't you glad that you already have 7 healthy children?" Well ... yes ... but it didn't make me grieve for the one I'd lost, any less.

I understand your grief. You are in my prayers.

Laurel

Jenn said...

Oh Kate, I am so sorry! I know your pain, miscarriage is never easy. It is so hard on the heart. I will be praying for you.

Sarah Halstead said...

I am so sorry Kate. I will be praying for you. I haven't been through that, but I do know it never gets easier no matter what. A loss is a loss.

Jennifer said...

Oh Kate! That just makes my heart ache. You are in my prayers as you heal.

Laura@knittinginatree.com said...

Kate- I am so sorry! I've been there too and its so difficult, no matter what the circumstances. I'll be praying for you!

Teri said...

I love you, Kate. Give Eric my love. Aunt Teri

This Heavenly Life said...

Kate, I'm so sorry for this! (((Hugs)))

Christine @ Sugar Plum Treasures said...

I am so sorry - you will be in my thoughts.

Amber said...

I'm so sorry to hear about your family's loss! Praying for your hearts.

Delena said...

Well that totally sucks! I'm so sorry for you. I'll be praying for you.

Kate @ Bliss and That said...

Oh, I'm so sorry that you're hurting... Even unplanned, you still loved that baby just the same. I'm praying for you, Hon! Take care... XOXO

Tina Michelle said...

miscarriages do hurt and they suck no matter what. I am hoping things start getting better soon.

mandbrid said...

Oh, Kate! I am so sorry to hear this...I've had one too - really early on and it took a long time for me to feel better emotionally. I will remember you in my prayers. Sending love your way!

Jen said...

Loving & praying for you right now...

tabby said...

Iam soo sorry for your loss. You have been through so much this year. I admire your strength and your faith in the Lord. I know words are not enough to ease the pain, please know you are in my thoughts and prayers. Thank you for your self discosure, I believe that eventhough most of us ( bloggers ) are strangers we can learn from eachother and help eachother. God bless.

Susie B. Homemaker said...

Oh wow, I am so sorry! Your words were beautiful and so true... God does know what's best for us and knows exactly what we need! Hugs and warmest wishes to you and your family.

SnoWhite {Finding Joy in My Kitchen} said...

I'm so sorry, Kate. You are in my prayers -- and, as you said -- God's sovereign plan it is, even though that doesn't always make it better, it is so true.

wonderchris said...

That sucks so badly - to celebrate the double lines and life growing inside of you to mourning the loss of your pregnancy. That just sucks - no other way to say it.

I'm so sorry. Not an easy time for you guys I'm sure. You are all in my prayers. Sending a virtual *hug*!

Miss said...

oh my gosh Kate...I am so so so sad. I had no idea! I am praying for you!!

heather@it'stwinsanity said...

((big hugs))

It doesn't matter if you have two kids or ten kids, a baby lost is a baby lost. I am so sorry! I know how hard it is. My prayers are with you!

Elizabeth Koproski said...

Oh Kate, its so sad. All of the "rational" thoughts just don't matter. It's sad. I had a miscarriage before Olivia. It sucks. Grieve girl, grieve! Just prayed for you that God would be real in the saddness.

Cecilia said...

I'm so sorry for your loss. After your last post, I like most of your readers thought you were pregnant again. I was hoping for another beautiful girl for you. Please know you and your family are in my prayers.

Tiffany said...

I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. I will have you in my thoughts and prayers.

The Not So Perfect Housewife said...

Oh kate. So sorry to hear of your loss. Praying that our God of peace beyond all understanding will minister to you and your family at this time.

Lenae said...

*hugs* Praying for you and your family.

The Sneaky Mommy said...

Oh Kate, I am so sorry! Praying that you will feel God's love and comfort! Praying that those five little sweethearts will give their mama some extra loving, too!

jenn said...

I've never experienced a loss, but your outlook is so inspiring. I'm sorry for you and your family that you've had to go through this, and yet I'm glad to hear that you are able to take a positive look at it, understanding that God will provide your family with what you need most.

Hope your coming weeks bring some happier days =)

Jeni said...

I hope today was a little better than yesterday! Love you!

Hilary Surratt said...

I'm so sorry to hear this from you Kate. I will definitely be praying for you and complete healing soon!

Sarah said...

Kate, so sorry to hear about your miscarriage. Praying for God's overwhelming love and comfort for you right now.

becky said...

Sometimes God's plan is so hard to understand. You've been so tough through all of this. Remember, it's ok to feel sad, angry, confused. No matter how many children you already have, losing one is not easy.

By opening up and sharing, you have undoubtedly touched many people. I'm so proud of you and truly honored to be your friend. LOVE you, lady!

Oh, and by the way, even if it wasn't quadruplet boys this time, like I was predicting, I'm still pulling for that in the future. I'll continue brainstorming new blogging names for you. :)

Megan said...

kate...so very sorry...i still think of the one I never met...big hugs to you!

Marisa said...

Oh Kate, I'm so, so sorry! It's so hard to lose a baby! My heart goes out to you. Give yourself time and grace to grieve. It's hard, but necessary! I'll be in touch.

jenny said...

So very sorry, Kate. May God's "compassions be new each morning"...I pray you would feel His presence. Every baby is just as important as the first, and this baby would have been loved immensely.

{The Christian's} said...

Kate, I am so sorry! I am thinking of you and praying for you!!

Amy@My Front Porch said...

Oh, Kate! So sorry to hear this! Praying for you!

Annika said...

I'm so sorry! It is never easy, whether you have no children or many. Sending prayers your way.

MysTery said...

Aww momma! It will be ok! Just love the little girls you have that much more! :)

Katie@The Baby Factory said...

Oh my. I am so so sorry! I can't even begin to imagine, but I know that I too would be devastated...even though the idea of having a baby right now isn't high on my list right now. I will be praying for you!

Ali said...

Oh. I'm so sorry to hear this. I'm thinking of you.

Lindsay said...

sorry to hear that, Kate! Will be praying for you and your family!!

Lani said...

Oh Kate, I am late on this but I am so sorry. This is one thing I have been through and I know how hard it is. I know there aren't really any words to make it better, so I'll just say you are in my prayers.

Rana said...

Kate, I'm so so sorry to hear about this. I'm just getting around to coming over to read your blog. I can't even imagine what you are going through. Just know that you and your family are loved and our loving God will sustain you. You are strong and he won't give you any more than you can bare.

susan said...

Kate, I'm catching up tonight on your blog.... Oh my, I'm so sorry for your loss. My heart goes out to you. It doesn't matter if you have no children, one two or sixty..... grief is grief. You are in my thoughts xx