I Wonder...Do You Wonder??

• 6 years ago today, life was a little different. (By the way, that's me in the white...hee hee...) I was walking down the aisle to the man I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. We had big dreams, big plans, careers to chase after, and a ton of ambition. We were going to travel, go out on the weekends, and be Eric & Kate to the fullest. I was a mere 21.

Little did we know, God was about to start us on a radical journey that we could have never dreamed of.

"Wondering" is something I have been really struggling with over the past few months. Letting my thoughts get the best of me, and failing to focus on what is truly important.

Many thoughts run through my head as I look back over these 6 short years. I wonder.....

Were would we be if we had ignored God's Calling and not married so young?

Where would we be if I hadn't ended up pregnant 6 months later?

Would I have a big, important career to brag about?

Would I be like that girl I see at starbucks every week that is obviously always on her way to her very important job? The one who always looks put together, who almost looks at me with pity while I try to tame my children. The one with her hair done, makeup on, with those amazing stilettos that I've been eyeing at Macy's for months.

She has a meeting to get to, I have to be at Preschool in 15 min.

She has important deadlines to meet, I have diapers to change.

She drives a little sporty looking thing, I'm in that huge 8 passenger SUV...you know the one that sounds like a school bus?

She travels every month for business, I haven't been on a plane since '03.

She's meeting clients for dinner, it's kids night at Chick-Fil-a.

She goes home to her amazing studio apartment in the middle of town with that fantastic balcony...the one that overlooks all the stores and restaurants. I am the privileged one that gets to go home to a dedicated husband, and 5 little girls that yell, "mommy's home!!" (well, actually only 3 are yelling so far...the other 2 are cooing... )

That life may be filled with money, luxury, and time alone. Mine is filled with giggles, smiles, chaos, hugs, unconditional love, and some serious chubby cheeks.

I start to remember how green God has made the grass on our side. I started to think how I have never had more peace about where we are in our life. How for the first time in a long time, I feel like I'm right where I should be.

There is nothing that could replace the journey that we've traveled these past 6 years. Hearing the heartbeat for the 1st time, 5 times. Hearing "it's a girl!" and "it's another girl!" 5 times. Not only being married, but becoming almost like a team of 2 trying to raise all these girls in a way that is honoring to Him, and navigate our way together through this amazing hand that God has dealt us. We have been blessed beyond measure, and I feel truly unworthy for what we have been given.

In the past 6 years, we have had many good times, and some really hard times. I look forward to spending many more years together, and can't imagine what God has planned next! Love you, Eric!!