Wednesday, June 17, 2009

I Should Be Fired

As a mom, have you ever had a day when you thought,

"If it was possible, I would be fired...or maybe I need to retire..."

I decided to throw a little honesty in my wordless Wednesday, and it will be far from wordless. Because I am a mom, I am human, and I do make mistakes in this amazing, beautiful, but wild hand that God has dealt us.

It can be rough at times. And let's face it, when you are a stay at home mom, there are no lunch breaks, no half days, no vacation time, and no consistent adult interaction. It can feel isolating and lonely, especially when you have many small children that are pulling your hair out for you :).

Stressed out, maxed out, checked out.

That has been my day for the past 10 days. Up early in the morning, packing bags for the day, making sure the house is clean before we leave, swim team, swim suits, sunscreen, feeding babies, lunch, park, the list goes on...and is usually a list I enjoy. For the most part, I am very calm even in the middle of fits and meltdowns. Not because I have a lot of patience necessarily, but because I feel there is no benefit to me and the children melting down. I truly believe when the mom starts to let loose, it sets the whole situation on fire.

I'm on fire.

Lately I am a little on edge, and when I say "a little", I mean "a lot." I've been short with the girls, and stressed. Our days start out just like normal, but 3 hours later I find myself yelling at them in a bathroom they stare at their frazzled mother, confused as to why I am at the end of my rope.

I should be fired.

It takes a lot to raise these kiddos, and I wouldn't trade one second of it for anything. There is no amount of money that would take me from being with my girls day in, and day out. Nothing that would ever replace seeing all their firsts with my own eyes, and being there every time they need something. They need their mom. I would do it all again, and if the truth be told, if we felt led to, I would have more.

So today I've decided that I'm going to try to take my humor back...I am going to laugh with them instead of be stressed, I'm going to delight in these crazy moments that will soon be gone when they are older. I'll let you know how it goes. Anyone out there want to offer some advice on how you deal with stress during crazy seasons? Please tell me that every mom feels this way sometimes!?

Maybe I shouldn't be fired, maybe I just need some PTO time :).

These are the pics I had planned for a wordless Wednesday post. I know I've said it before, but don't you just want to squeeze them!?


bass family said...

I must say, I TOTALLY COMPLETELY UNDERSTAND! I actually frequently say "I'm fired." But somehow... no one gets the memo and I just keep going. And today, I'm really wishing for a "sick day." I feel crummy, am coming down with something, and desperately wanted to stay in bed all day. So THANK YOU for the reminder that we CAN and WILL make it through... and we may as well enjoy the ride as we go. :) Praying for you today!

EH said...

Turst me.... all moms have those times... unless you have a really huge ego {grin}. Somedays I wish I was fired because I have been crummy. But.. God forgives, the kids forgive... life goes on. cute pics.

Jeremy and Jeni said...

You definitely should not be fired. We all have our days...weeks...
You are a fabulous mom to your girls. They are happy, loving, well-adjusted, sweet little children.

I do understand how you feel though. Mine did me in before 10 today!! Cara cried at ballet (the last one)...ruined the whole darn routine for the other girls. Jake was a stinker at swim team and Abby was walking around in mismatched, on the wrong foot, too big shoes. I really looked like I had it together today!!! :)) Hmm, maybe I should be fired??

Annika said...

Been there, done that far too many times! I love your attitude. It is so helpful to remember 'when mom keeps her cool, everyone else will too', AND be much happier! When I am stressed, tired, overwhelmed at my mom job, it helps me to acknowledge my grouchiness to my children and verbally start over. Then I pray without ceasing for God to help me with the miracles He has blessed me with. It is by His grace we can make it through each day as the mom He created us to be!

jenny said...

You are an amazing mom to your 5 sweet, beautiful girls and even on your worst day, you are still handpicked by the Lord for each of them. You deserve a medal for even tackling the pool with all of them, I can barely do it with my three. I can only imagine that this season is super overwhelming right now with everything you have going on, but you really are handling it with grace. Ben was out of town last night, and I had a "moment" with the kids trying to get everyone to clean up the basement that I was not too proud of either. Praying for you, friend, and appreciate your willingness to share your hard days as a mom as well as the good ones. Enjoy those sweet girlies!

Clair said...

Right now I have one child throwing a tantrum and one just being whingey for no reason. I've just stepped away and shut off because it's just too much.
Anyone who says they dont have melt downs is lying! How you manage not to more often is a miracle- 3 is tough 5 must be chaos

Tina said...

I have felt that way for the past 2 days. It is hard to deal with. I wish you strength as you try to laugh instead of let it get to you.

Stacie@HobbitDoor said...

Thanks for being real, Kate! Love the pics--I had that sweater dress for Nugget but she's outgrown it. :(

Miss said...

Oh Kate, firs of all...good job for being so honest! =)

I laugh at myself when I have tantrums b.c it really is SO rediculous when us adults can't handle it! =) should TOTALLY get on the stay at home mom payroll! =) (wait...thats just my imagination...never mind!)

Jenn @ A Country Girl's Ramblings said...

All of us moms have days and sometimes weeks like that. When I feel a meltdown coming, I pray. Even if it a quick "Lord, help me". I also try to explain to my boys that I am feeling on edge and that I need them to be really quite and obedient. Hang in there, Momma!

Marisa said...

Yes! Every mom has moments where she's on the edge of insanity. You have a lot of activities with a lot of kiddos. I think you do an amazing job! Hang in there!

susanc said...

ditto everyone eles's comments. I hear you!!
being a stay at home mother to a number of children is not easy...

but we love it!!, yes...I DO love it!!
had to check for a second there ;)

Anonymous said...

I think you are doing a great job with our little girls. I appreciate all you do for them. I am praying for you. I love you.

mandbrid said...

I'm so behind on reading your blog...I don't know what happened. I would be beyond stressed if I had to show my house. We moved when our babies were 2.5 months - because I couldn't handle trying to show the house with the 5 little ones. My heart goes out to you!
As for being fired....seriously, do you think anyone else could do your job?!?!? I just laugh about that sometimes. I love to read about other mom's struggles - it's nice to know we're all human, eh? Hope you're feeling better!

Laurel said...

You are NOT alone ... sweet mama.

I well remember the days when my house was full of 6 little ones under 7 years old. Yes, I've been there, done that.

Those 6 are now adults ... but the Lord continued to bless us. My youngest 6 are now between 7 - 13.


mama of 13

Laurel said...

Oops ... forgot the "practical tips for stressed out mamas".

When my twins were born, and my "older" kids were 2, 3, 4, ... life was stressful. We had NO help from friends or family. My husband worked long hours, and I was on my own with 5 under 5.

Many days, I had to break down the day into manageable chunks of time to think about: what will we do until lunch? then, what will be do until naps? then, what will be do until daddy comes home? If I were to get up in the morning and think, what should we do today? that was overwhelming.

So, break down your days. Focus on the NOW and not the LATER. Take an hour at a time, or a minute at a time, and ask God to give you the wisdom and grace to be all that He wants you to be ... for the precious little girls that you have been entrusted with.

mama of 13