To My Only Son & My Future Daughter In Law (Yes, This Is The "Controversial" Post)

I love all you ladies out there. I mean, for real. Thanks for your encouraging words. I was talked into reposting the post about my little Lincoln and his future wife. Hopefully some other mama will find the humor in it like I did :)!

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They all say I favor you.

And they all speak a small amount of truth.

Even one of my best friends says that 20 years from now I will no doubt be sitting across from Dr. Phil on some Meddling Mother-in-Law show where I will be arguing that I am not "pushy", I'm just "really involved".

It's not that I actually love you more or have placed you as my "favorite" child, it's just that my connection to you is far different than my connection to your sisters. So many people told me the bond would be unique, but I just didn't believe it.

From the moment you were born I knew our relationship would be different.

You see, your sisters and I have the same hormones running through our veins which basically binds us for life. We'll hopefully have that "mother/daughter/best friends" relationship as they get older just like my mom and I do. They'll call me to talk about everything and nothing. We will talk about clothes, complain about pms, shop for prom dresses, plan weddings, and wait in line for $5 crockpots on Black Friday.

Lord willing, we will always travel in a pack. I already look forward to those future memories with my girls.

Oh, we also will talk about your new girlfriend that you bring to dinner when we all go to the bathroom together. You might as well know that now.

But deep in my mothering heart, I know that won't be the deal with you. I know that boys leave their moms for a girl that has stolen their heart. That's why I have eaten up every single second of you while I can.

I know that I will blink and you will be running around with the neighbor boys, playing in the mud, working out in the garage with dad, joining the football team, and then ultimately find some know-it-all girl who thinks she knows more about you than I do.

Keep in mind that I spent 9 months carrying you, gained almost 50 pounds, endured swollen ankles, and then had my abdomen cut open to bring you into this world. Maybe you should write those facts on an index card, have it laminated, and always keep it in your back pocket. Just in case you ever need a refresher.

It's probably best that you make sure any prospect is strong enough to embrace 1 mother-in-law and 5 sister-in-laws. She's going to need tough skin. And a sense of humor.

So I thought I'd help you and your future bride out by drafting up a set of vows for her - I will work on yours in the years to come. Please know that these are subject to change at anytime, especially as your wedding gets closer...

I, girl who is 2nd place to your mother, take you Lincoln, to be my husband.

(I also take your mother to be my mentor and go-to girl for all life questions. After all, she does know everything.)

To have and to hold from this day forward.

(And speaking of holding, she should hold all of our children as soon as I deliver. She does have tons of experience and she did raise exceptional human beings like yourself and your beautiful sisters.)

For better or for worse,

(Although I just would like to say that life will always be better when your mother is right smack in the middle of our business. She has earned the privilege of knowing everything about me and my ways. I should probably give her access to all my social networking sites.)

for richer, for poorer,

(Which by the way, money will never matter because my new savvy mother in law can guide me on big purchases, shopping trips, and help me find the best deals on the latest trends...she is after all such a fashionista.)

in sickness and in health,

(And when you are sick, I think your mom should come take care of you because she is the only woman that will ever be able to truly comfort you. She's your world.)

 to love and to cherish;

(Even though I will never cherish you like your mother does. You should call her everyday and remind her how much you and I adore her. Schedule weekly lunch dates with her too so you can get her opinion on important decisions we are making at the time.) 

from this day forward until death do us part.

(Now lets go to the reception where your mom should have the first dance with you.)

I think that is completely appropriate, don't you?

Good, sweetie, I'm glad we agree :).

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Hope you all have a great weekend!!