Well, we're rounding out another week here. It's been a good one, full of activities and playing with the kids. The weather is so great right now, not too cold. It's just right. Does anyone else love the smell of the Fall/Winter air?? I absolutely love it! I also love hoodies on my sweeties...
Look at that one little curl sticking out there :).
I've been doing a little organizing around the house as well. I sort of went on a cleaning spree...it's like I'm nesting or something. The problem is, I don't know if I'll be nesting for a few weeks, or for a few months, or more. There is no due date this time around.
The other problem is that I really like a plan and control, so I'd prefer to know the exact time frame of this season. But He would prefer that I just listen and trust.
Keep praying, and keep preparing....keep praying, and keep preparing...I can do this.
I've felt like I need to keep some kind of order around here because our case worker tends to drop by at a moments notice. As in I'm in my pj's, and the kitchen isn't cleaned up from breakfast yet, and then "surprise!" she's here!
We really do love her though. I feel this bond to her because she is such a big part of our new chapter, it's like she's family.
I keep praying for the kids that He's preparing for us and for the bio parents that we will be involved with. I'm asking for strength and compassion a midst a possible ugly situation. I'm praying for constant reminders of how it could be me, or anyone one of us standing in their shoes, its only by grace that its not.
It is ONLY grace that we live in this nice little community, with nice neighbors, and nice schools, and a nice little life. It is grace that we are healthy and thriving instead of chained to things that will ruin our lives. So as much as I want to be so angry at these parents, and believe me, I WILL BE at times, there is also just a lot of sadness when you realize a mothers life is so broken that she can't even take care of her child.
It's kind of like the saying, "There but for the grace of God, go I,"
Grace and redemption. That is what this is all about. That is really what life is all about.
If you can't tell already, my heart is still a tad raw from all of this. I find myself driving along and praying about life with tears running down my face. Which is either God working on my heart, total fear, or a hormonal imbalance. It's likely to be all three, people.
We just have so much.
I guess that's what has been really turning inside of me lately. We have been spending so much time learning and preparing to deal with a whole lot of brokenness, and it kind of makes you realize how put together your simple life really is.
We don't have crazy shopping sprees or extravagant vacations, but we have a whole lot of love and stability inside these walls...and that is really all that matters at the end of the day. So I've been trying to really question myself when I say we "need" something. Because really, we don't have a ton of needs, only wants. We are already rich in all the important areas.
He is showing me that we are full to the brim where it counts. This humble life is the dream. It's here for us to embrace, every crazy moment of it...
And so today I sit and look at that picture and think, "Yep, I think there's room for more."
We know we can't reach every child in our overflowing county. But even if He only let's us reach 1...rescue 1...embrace 1...give hope to 1 family, then it will be worth all the ups and downs of a broken system.
Praying, and preparing. That's all we can do right now :).