Monday, November 12, 2012

"You're A Friend That Would Help Me Move A Body"

I know, you either are afraid of that title or you remember me mentioning it before. Please, stay with me :).

We had a great weekend. And by great I mean blessed, and refueling, and a deep breath of fresh but crazy air.

Jessica and her crew of 9 met up with us this past summer for the first time. We hung out and confirmed that we lived insanely similar lives, and a wonderful and hilarious friendship was born. Eric and I left that weekend changed. Those 3 days back in June played a giant role in our decision to move forward with our foster to adopt journey that we had talked about for so long. They truly were a voice we needed to hear.

A lot happened in the weeks following that weekend. As we embarked on this new chapter, their family was faced with tragedy. We kept in touch and cheered each other on the best we knew how as we both walked through different seasons.

Because that’s what friends do, right?

They made the drive this past weekend and stayed with us for a few days. We somehow fit all the kids (except 1) in our kids rooms and they giggled and talked until they couldn't keep their sweet eyes open anymore. Us adults sipped wine, played cards, and laughed hysterically till1am.

It was bliss. 

Our lives aren't the same as they were in July, but the same exact friendship was still there.

It was just a refreshing time.

Over a year ago I had the chance to listen to a speaker by the name of Brene Brown. She spoke so boldly and honestly about friendship and being vulnerable - a topic that had been heavy on my heart for quite some time.

I try to offer as much as I can to my girlfriends, and I'm trying my hardest to invest in the ladies that make my life richer. My days of hanging out at the last minute or having an uninterrupted chat on the phone have waved goodbye. 6 (and maybe more) kiddos consume most of my hours - it's crazy, but I wouldn't trade it for anything.

Although I would like to shower without all the banging on the door. You know, at some point.

At that conference, Brene talked about how everyone needs those few friends that would help you "move a body".Even though it sounded strange at first...and illegal, I was intrigued as to where she was heading with this analogy. I knew immediately who those girls were in my life as her story and reasoning behind that statement unfolded. I felt like God used her to help clarify things that had been on my heart for quite some time, and I felt convicted that I often take those girls for granted while I try to figure out other friendships that are clearly off in a ditch somewhere.

Here is some of the story she told...

"A year or two ago, my good friend called and as soon as I said, “Hello!” she said, “You’re a friend who would move a body.”

I could tell by her voice that she was serious. I lowered my voice and asked, “What does that mean?”

She said that one of her sister’s close friends had called her sister and asked her to help her move her mom. Her mother, who was apparently only invited to visit once a year, struggled with alcoholism. When my sister’s friend came home from work, she was passed out drunk on the sofa. It was 3 o’clock in the afternoon and the kids would be busting through the front door any minute. She called because she physically needed help moving her mother.

I let out a deep sigh and said, “Yes. You could definitely call me.”

Then she said one of the kindest things that anyone has ever said to me.  She explained,

“I’d call you because you would come right away. Give me a hug. Never look judgmental or disapproving or disgusted.

And then you’d say, ‘let’s do this.’

The next day when you saw my mom at the park or the soccer game, you’d be kind and respectful. And most of all, it would never cross my mind to say something to you like, ‘please don’t tell anyone.’ Because you don’t do that.”

I thought about that conversation for days.I thought about how lucky I am to have a couple “move-a-body” friends in my life. I thought about how crazy it is that most of us can steamroll over these friends while we work to win the approval and acceptance of people who really don’t matter in our lives – people whom we’d NEVER call when we were in real struggle."

I just love that story. And I was reminded this weekend to focus and nurture those friendships because they are the ones that are going to be standing next to you during the good, the mundane, and the crazy. Those are the girls that are in it for the long haul - even when they live miles away.

I need to tell those girls how much I love them and how important they are to me more often.

Friends are a gift, and I think that moms need true friendship like they need air. Real friends make you laugh, speak the truth, and encourage you – they’re not supposed to be pulling you down.There is no room in life for toxic friendships, they need to be cut out to make room for those who are encouraging you towards one thing…Him.

It's also a must to have friends where you know that you basically couldn’t say ANYTHING that would shock them. That is the best :).

Those few girls that “get you”, the ones that you laugh out loud with, and the ones that you know you can share your ugliness with? Those are the girls that make life better, richer, easier. Those are kindred spirits, gifts from Him.

Thankful for His perfect picture of friendship. And thankful for Jessica and her beautiful crew and all their reminders of God's sweet grace.

I thought there was so much truth in Brene's words, so I just had to share…again. Love those"move-a-body" gals in my life, praying that I am always that friend back to them.

Hope you all are having a great week!


Mama Ds Dozen said...

Glad you all had a GREAT weekend together. You are BLESSED to have moved from Blog Friends to Real Life Friends, and to live close enough to get together.

:) :) :)

The Beaver Bunch said...

Oh girl. You just can't know how much you bless me. I'd always call you to move a body (or 13). Actually, I think I remember us dragging a few bodies around by their limbs together. Does it count if they're screaming at us while we're moving them? ;)

Love you SO much.

Thoughts for the day said...

I think what is so wonderful with this story is the fact that your husbands get along too and enjoy each other, for just as mom's need friends men do too and so often they do not seek it. So in saying that you have blessed yourself by reaching out and you have blessed him by allowing his friendship to mature and grow too. It is a win win for all involved.
Good job.

jenny said...

Amen! Oh what a gift true, consistent friends from the Lord are!! Thanks for being one of those friends in my life! A treasured friend for sure! SO glad you had such a great weekend with Jessica! Love how God allows paths to cross with other families and develops rich friendships out of that!! Love you!

Marisa said...

Sounds like you had a great time! So thankful for body draggin' friendships! Where would we be without them?

Savvy Little Women - Kate said...

Thanks, ladies...good friends are the best! And yes, the husbands get along too, which makes it all even better :).

Ashlee Stalling said...

What a great post! I can really appreciate the idea of a friend that would help you move a body! I have recently been reading a new book called Women I Want to Grow Old With, and it really emphasizes how we need friends in our lives that will be there in those defining moments! When we may really need them! It has helped me really open up to my friends now, and cultivate my friendships! if anyone wants to check out this book! Thanks so much for this great post!