Tuesday, November 22, 2011

10 Things I (Try) To Teach Our Girls


I got some comments on a recent post questioning how I raise our girls. And just in case you were curious as well, I'm not forcing our girls to be homemakers. I believe they should be whatever God calls them to be.

My calling is not their calling.

But for the record, if you are a mom and a wife, I do feel like "homemaker" is part of our calling whether you work full time in an office or stay at home full time with the kiddos, so I do focus a lot on teaching them about it. But that doesn't mean I tell them they shouldn't pursue a career or some other passion.

I myself run a small photography business AND consider myself a homemaker as well :).

However, homemaker is my calling, photography is my hobby.

SO, I thought I'd share things that I do often tell our girls, and rules I keep close to my heart that I want them to know and embrace.

1. You are like a ruby. Rare and one of a kind.

2. Modesty is admirable. And a must in this house till you are old enough to support yourself. Ahem. Covering up doesn't mean you can't be trendy. Passing trends are often not very classy anyway, keep things covered that should be covered, lady.

And I don't care if everyone else is wearing it - lead, don't follow.

3. The point to makeup is to make it look like you're not wearing any. That's what my mom used to tell me. Anything that matches an actual color of the rainbow is to much, unless you're pursuing a look that resembles Mimi from the Drew Carey Show. Which we aren't going for.

Oh, and there is no makeup till you can put it on AND wash it off effectively...which I haven't even really mastered yet at age 30, so you've got some time.

4. The future is yours. Well, ultimately it's His. You can accomplish anything you want. Follow His lead, and be the best YOU that you can be.

But promise mama that someone will have a little bundle at some point, ok? My ovaries will eventually dry up and I'll need to rely on you for a baby fix.

5. Don't be a gossip. It's just not good. "If she's talking to you about her, shes probably talking to her about you." Don't be that girl. God wants your words to be full of grace.

6. Focus on your heart, not your appearance. The pressure from our culture can be nasty, be prepared to fight for what you know is true. The state of your heart is more important than your size, or choice in "designer" clothes - you are more important than a number. And at the end of the day, people want to be with someone who's heart is full of passion and joy...not with someone who only talks about her image or lack there of.

7. I am your mother, not your friend. This is a hard one for me because I really want you to like me and I know that sometimes you won't. For now though, it's my job to raise you. When you are older, settled down, and having a family of your own, I can act more like a friend in some ways.

But for now, and all the way through high school, I will basically stalk you. Someday, you'll thank me.

8. Take a good look at me. This is your future. Hips and all. You will at some point say, "Oh goodness, I am my mother!".

9. Be hard to find, not easy to get. A friend told me that back in my single days and I have never forgot it. Have high standards and don't compromise. God has already chosen a perfect guy for you, wait for him.

10. Always be upfront and tell the truth. Honesty is freeing, and everything comes to light eventually anyway. It's like telling someone they have something in their teeth - its awkward at first, but rewarding for everyone in the end.

So there they are. The top 10 things I tell our sweet, growing girls.

And from what I see thus far, we have all kinds of dreams ahead :).


G said...

Great post! Thanks for clarifying. You are an awesome mom and your love for the Lord is such an inspiration to me. You are raising great kids!

Thoughts for the day said...

Your girls will thank you for having such good and clear guidelines. This is a wonderful example of powerful effective parenting. Good job.

Savvy Little Women - Kate said...

Thanks for the encouragement :).

Victoria Willer said...

First...you are teaching them to be homemakers, as everyone needs to be able to do that anyway. You have never said that you were raising stay at home moms...that is a different part of the job. You listed amny things that I have not thought of yet with my 2 year old daughter (girls need different stuff then the 3 older brothers she has) but I must add one that someday you may or may not want to approach with your girls. They will need to come to a decision within their ranks as to boys and what happens oncce one has had a crush on/dated whatever one boy if he is off limits to the rest. My boys already have a pact about this and they are 2 second graders and a kindergartener.

I do so enjoy reading your thoughts as many days they mirror my own!

Cindy said...

I was thankful to read about teaching them modesty. This starts young. I have an almost 23 yo daughter. Although there were some things she didn't care for that I required,overall,we didn't have any big struggles. I just think if you gently push them in this direction when they are younger,it's easier for them to accept as their teen years approach.

Ruth said...

I LOVE your list! Like, really, really a lot. What a wise mom you are. Haha, and the rainbow colors, and ovaries drying up? Still laughing over here. =)

{The Christian's} said...

This has to be one of my favorite posts!! Love this!!