Free

I usually don't get real deep around here. Well, sometimes, but usually not on Mondays.

But writing is cheaper than therapy, amen?

We all struggle. With something, someone, some thought, some habit, etc. And so often, we keep quiet because struggle makes us feel insecure, vulnerable, or like we are letting ourselves and those around us down.

That's a lie from the enemy, by the way.

4 months or so ago when I started feeling anxiety well up in my chest way more than I'd like to admit, I didn't want to say anything. I didn't want to admit that I was having trouble with it, and I didn't want to admit that it was occupying way more of my time than it should. I felt under attack during a season of change in our life - in a way, I kinda felt plagued by worry.

It was hard. After all, how often do I hear in a store, "wow, this is a lot of little kids...you must be Super Mom!!". As I'd shuffle my anxious heart out of that aisle with my crew I'd often muffle under my breath, "if you only knew, lady."

Besides, 2 kids, 6 kids, 10 kids, or 20 kids doesn't make you super mom. Loving your kids fearlessly, putting their needs before your own, and getting out of bed in the morning and dragging your struggling heart to the toaster to make waffles is what makes you super mom.

We all do it. We should have capes.

That carefree, laid back mom who considered a stroll through Target with her half dozen a relaxing and fun outing, turned into a mom that instead said, "Why don't we just stay home instead?"

Don't worry, I still love cruising Target. It's a place dear to my heart. Team Target forever.

But I am convinced now that He lets the storm move in so He can teach you, guide you, and get your attention when you're having trouble listening. He was using this rough patch to teach me about mothering, about myself, about my lack of boundaries, that being home is SO important, and that I was missing vital time with my crew by running around town when we really didn't need to be.

I can't raise 5 homemakers in the seasonal clearance aisle at Target.

I heard somewhere recently that Satan doesn't want you to talk about your struggles, he wants to make you feel isolated and alone. He doesn't want you to know and remember the freedom you have in Christ, so he tries to keep you quiet, chained, and ashamed.

But you know what shatters his twisted plans? Bringing the darkness to light, sharing your heart with close friends in the middle of Panera Bread, and hearing them say, "oh yes, I've been there, I totally understand."

Is there anything better than hearing "I understand"?? It's a gift. For real.

God sets us free. He goes before us. And He heals our beaten down spirit.

I am free to take a deep breath, free to live a life of joy, and free to walk through Target without listening to that voice that says, "you can't handle this...you are overwhelmed...you're not good at this."

I can do this with Him, and I don't have to live with anxiety or fear or worry or any other struggle.

He. Sets. Us. Free.

Call this struggle with anxiety what you want. You can call it hormones, you can call it raising a big family, you can call it the stress of every day life. I call it staying in the grip of fear, instead of living in the grip of grace.

No more.

Today is like any other recent day. Except different. Because today I remember that I am His, and He cares about every single detail in my life. He is right there with me (and you) during those anxiety or fear filled moments.

He can kick the crap out of those moments. I just need to ask.

Is this to much on a Monday?? Yes? Sorry :). 

Everyone has something going on - everyone struggles. God wants you to talk about it, He wants you to be free :).

"When I said "My foot is slipping," your love, O Lord, supported me. When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought joy to my soul." Psalm 94: 18-19