Wednesday, March 16, 2011

You Might Be Close To Delivery If... (Volume 2)

You only have 1 T-shirt left to sleep in because all your other T-shirts have decided to only cover half your belly. It's like they're all on strike.

Your husband gets a kick out of how the lower part of your belly sometimes sticks out when you try to wear those smaller T-shirts. You both laugh cause most times you don't even know it's showing.

In the middle of the produce section you get this interesting feeling and think, "Am I leaking milk? That can't be normal already, can it?"

After deciding that you don't really care at this point if you do have breast milk on your shirt, you head over to the frozen foods aisle where you stand in front of an open freezer door as the cool air frees you from the FURNACE that you've become.

One kick is all it takes. Just one kick to empty your bladder completely. (he's a tough little guy)

You decide to get on the floor and play doll house with the girls - an hour later they have moved on to something else and you're still laying there trying to figure out how to get up.

Since comfort has taken priority over being socially acceptable, it's not unheard of for you to ask the question, "you think track pants are out of the question for church?"

You actually said to yourself last week when you passed chick-fil-a at 10am, "it's ok to eat 2's been 3 hours since I ate the last one", and then you pull in.

Your husband has started to basically agree with whatever you say because he knows that a hormone imbalanced crying spell could follow a bad answer.

Talking and walking at the same time is basically out of the question. With all that baby up in your ribs, there is not enough breath to do both.

You are that pregnant lady that is clearing the shelves in the Easter candy aisle cause Peeps and Starburst Jelly Beans TASTE EVEN BETTER when you're pregnant. I didn't even know it was possible.

At your kids School Carnival this past weekend, you actually took part in the Cake Walk as well. Twice. (pls tell me you know what The Cake Walk is??)

You would paint your toe nails...if you could see them.

You've started carrying smelling salts in your purse to use on those people who pass out after asking, "is this your first?"

Your Google search used to look something like, "organic homemade recipes " - it now looks like, "pregnant lady needs salty food".

Even with all of the above, you still love being pregnant and want to savor these last weeks when you get to sit and feel his little kicks inside your belly.


I'm so excited to hold this little man, and hear his 1st little cry. He's totally worth all the pregnancy funnies...times a million!

Did I leave anything out?? :)


Jenn said...

I think I'm supposed to think "oh poor Kate" when I read this, but instead I translate "I'm so sad I'm not pregnant!".... despite the fact my littlest baby is JUST 3 months old.

Thats the crazy thing about pregnancy. No matter HOW uncomfortable you are, no matter HOW much you want a break, sleep, food, whatever, it's SO wonderful. It's SO beautiful.

Hope you ENJOY the last few weeks, no matter how miserable they are! It's the most miserable joy ever, but it's OH so great.

Mama D.'s Dozen said...

LOVE it!!!

Can't wait for that "first kick" from my little one.

Laurel :)

Kelly said...

LOL--this list made me laugh. Can you move on to wearing your husband's t-shirts? That's what I did. :) Loved the part about your google search changing. Hang in there!

Romberg Family said...

Okay this is hilarious!! Makes me miss that i will never be pregnant again.

The part about the smelling salt was so funny!! Peoples jaw drop when i tell them i have 3, i cant imagine what their faces look like when you tell them he is your 6th!! :)

Julia said...

Just 4.5 months ago, I was you. I laughed out loud! Thanks for the laugh!! The last few weeks are the toughest to get through, but yes, just feeling those kicks make it great.

And yes, its great fun to surprise people when they ask if this is your first!!! I loved seeing their eye balls go big at 4, I can't imagine what they look like when you say 6! :D Have fun!!

Lauren said...

You might be close to delivery if people keep asking you if you're close and you surprise them by telling that you still have 6 weeks til your due date!

(I'm due right around Easter with #4 so just 6 weeks aways!)

Lenae said...

Haha, these are hilarious! My favorite: "Your husband has started to basically agree with whatever you say because he knows that a hormone imbalanced crying spell could follow a bad answer." So, SO true ;)

I'm so excited for you to meet your little man! It's getting close!!!

Jeni said...

Still can't believe it's a boy in there! So excited to meet him too.

The Sneaky Mommy said...

These are hilarious!
I think the whole world should be warned about hormone imbalance and the likelihood of tears at any moment! (like today at the zoo when they wouldn't take our brand new family was so sad for mama and kids!)

Ruth said...

Breakfast is the most important meal, right? Of *course* you should eat it twice!

I remember peeing my pants at Panera Bread, after a sneeze, and having to run across the parking lot to Walmart to buy new undies. But I didn't care -- 'cause I was pregnant!

Sarah said...

hilarious! and true!

Anonymous said...

Ha ha! Too funny. I hope he is here soon! :D I can't wait to see him.

becky said...

Hilarious. Loved the google search one! :)

The Beaver Bunch said...

Thanks for perpetuating my Baby Fever.

And I cracked up about carrying the smelling salts for folks who ask you if this is your 1st. HYSTERICAL. I'm so doing that next time.