"You sure you're ready to start over?"
"I just can't imagine going back...to the baby stage, to diapers, to bottles, etc. You're ready to go back??"
That question has swung my way many, many times over the past month or so.
And my answer? I sure am...or at least I think I am. But even if I wasn't, God would prepare me for it just like He prepares us for every other stage of child rearing that us mom's face...whether we're ready or not :).
I get why people ask those questions though. And I would imagine that every mom gets why people ask those questions, because every mom gets how hard her job is. Especially when you have a newborn, and you're a week postpartum, and you haven't showered or brushed your teeth, and the baby is crying while your other kids are fighting over who is mommy's biggest helper.
(I kinda see that scenario playing out in my near future. Send chocolate. And Diet Coke over crushed ice.)
There is never a part of me though that views adding more kiddos to our family as "going back" to anything, I feel like we're only moving forward with God's plan for our family.
Does changing diapers, filling sippy cups, wiping noses, cleaning up crumbs off the floor, and folding load after load of laundry always feel glamorous? Not really. And would I love to have a full conversation at the park without having to tell my children to stop eating the mulch? Sure. But that's not my life right now...
Life is crazy, unpredictable, messy, loud, but oh so sweet...
I will admit that I have my days when this mom gig feels mundane and redundant. And I have so many moments where I feel like I am not making a difference in their little lives at all - that I am literally failing at this calling that God has laid out before me. But we all have to keep in mind that every mom feels that way sometimes, and I know deep in my heart that being called to motherhood is a far, far cry from a life that is mundane or redundant.
It's actually more like a roller coaster...with only tall hills and loops...and you just keep going up the tall hill anticipating the other side, and then after the rush of going down the hill it throws you for another loop. Yea, it's kinda like that.
Right now, to a great extent, motherhood is my ministry. It's how I serve, and I really believe that being a mommy is a very self sacrificial service. It's not a calling that is full of free time or fancy things, but it is a calling that involves investing and molding a child's life, and that's far more important than any "me time" or hobby that I could have. Being a mom means having a full plate, no matter what season you're in.
That busy, time consuming, full plate is such a gift...a true picture of God's love and grace in this mom's life.
I don't always do this mom thing with a joyful heart or full confidence, but I'm a work in progress, and I know that God will continue the work He started in me. At least that's what I cling to.
Whether you're in the baby stage, or the preschool pick up line stage, or the "why on earth are they teaching fractions in 1st grade" stage, it's always a moving forward with God's plan of motherhood stage. And that's a good place to be.
So today, and tonight, and the next day, and the following years after that, I will continue on this crazy road of mothering. The hardest, but by far the most rewarding road I've been on to date.
Speaking of serving via motherhood, I have 2 diapers to change as we speak.
Looks like my "ministry" is calling :)...