Monday, March 1, 2010

How Many Do You Have?

How many do you want?

How many is too many? Is there such a thing?

Lately I have sworn up one side and down the other, especially when we are in the fitting room, that I think I'm done having children. For real. I am in love with our crew, and am so thankful for 5 little loves to share this life with. It is incredible, it's rewarding, and it's a privilege.

Oh, not to mention it's totally exhausting. And draining. And humbling.

This is a really stressful season, so maybe this isn't the best time in our life to make any drastic decisions. You know, since we do have a little going on. Even in my most maxed out moments, it is easy for me to think, "maybe we are supposed to have more...supposed to be a large family...maybe it will be hard, but it's our plan, for our family."

And then when I get to spend an afternoon with this little sweetie...

And these little toes...

and this smiling face...

That "done" feeling drifts to the back of my mind, and all the sudden I don't remember things like - being peed on, getting asked questions that should not be asked in the checkout line at the grocery, having no privacy, money being tight, and wondering what car will fit this many carseats. Speaking of things not fitting...oh never mind.

So anyway, I would love to know...

How many kids do you have?
Boys? Girls? Multiples?
Adoption?
How many do you want?
What are your thoughts on big or small families?

Is this to many questions? Sorry :)...

24 comments:

heather@it'stwinsanity said...

You know I have my 6- and the 2 sets of twins. And of course you need to remember that when you add one more it might turn out to be two or three more! (Given your history and all! LOL) I'm not done. I'd like to have 2 more (one at a time.) ;)

TwinsanityMom said...

I'd love to have another one. I think 3 would be the perfect number for our family but with the possibility of another set of twins it is too big a risk for us. Money with just the two is so tight that any more just isn't going to be possible. And lets face it, I'm not a spring chicken. ;) So waiting till things are better financially probably isn't going to happen either. Thankfully I have a brother and sister-in-law who are soon expecting their first so I will be able to still have a newborn without all the sleepless nights. :) Good luck, you will figure it out!

Lenae said...

We have 3 and we'd love more! :)

Machelle said...

I think you will know when and if you are going to have more children. We have twin girls and want just one more. I think it is great when people have big families if they can support them financially, mentally, etc. But I do not think that is in the cards for us. Just 2 or 4 kids and I think I will be content.

Elizabeth said...

We have two singletons (very boring)!
We thought we were done after our first but are so pleased we "went" again. I think two is our limit as a family (financially, emotionally, physically) and I am always in awe of you and other Mums with big families.

mandbrid said...

We have 5. 4 boys and 1 girl. Two sets of twins. We have felt prompted by the Lord that we are not done. We plan on having one more pregnancy.....I keep postponing it. I'm not ready yet. We need to figure out our finances first and our van is FULL. We have to be in a position to purchase a new van (12 passenger possibly)
But I love my big family. And althought it's crazyness always....I think we'll be able to handle one or two more....

Beth said...

We have 5. A 4yo singleton son and 18 mo GGBG quads. I completely get your post. We certainly have plenty going on. We have a huge van and it's full... Our house feels full... Yet, I'm not willing to say I'm finished. All 5 of our kids were conceived w/ assistance and the hubby and I agree no more RE, so it seems unlikely to happen on it's own. But, I'm still not ready to say I'm through.

Laurel said...

When we had our first 6 babies in 6 years ... everyone thought that we MUST be done. :)

Now, those 6 babies are all young adults. If I'd stopped at "just 6 kids" I would have an empty next this year.

I'm so glad that we didn't stop, and that we still have 6 more kids at home, to keep me busy.

Here are the 3 principles that we have based our family-growing decision on ...

Children are a BLESSING!

God will never give us more than we can handle.

God will always provide for our needs.


We had 10 bio. kids, before we adopted from Ghana.

Our kids ages right now are 8, 8, 9, 11, 13, 16, 19, 21, 21, 23, 24, 25.


mama of a dozen :)

Katie@The Baby Factory said...

Ahhh the million dollar question ;)
1- 22 mo boy and twin 9 mo boys.
Selfish Katie wants a girl. Obviously no guarantees, right? ;)
Our big hiccup is saying 'just one more'....because YOU know if you say 'one more' you have to be prepared for it to be two more. Lightning can and does strike twice ;)
I would love to have more. Even twins again. Did I just say that?! Oh yes, I did. Girls this time please, {if anyone is listening and taking notes}

Delena said...

I've got three and have room for more! We were idiots, though, since we had three in three years we thought we'd better put a stop to it before we had eight in eight years. Tied the tubes and lived to regret it. Plan on buying a couple more. ;)

Amy said...

I have 2! Well, 4 if you want to consider my heavenly babies! :)

But out of the two, my Brando is adopted. Would I like to have more? SURE!-- if that's what God wants.
Unfortunatley, it took me 9 years to conceive my Bailey. SO, she truly is a miracle.

A little piece of 7th heaven said...

I have 5..
4 girls and 1 boy...
Range in age from 15 to 1
(had a baby every two and half to three and half years)
There are days that I swear up and down that we are done.
For Pete's sake we are planning a sweet sixteen and only six months ago celebrated a one year old birthday...BUT, I love the fact of doing teen things, preteen things, 8 year old boy stuff, kindergarten sweetness and sweet, sweet, draining, exhausting, but wonderful toddler things..
I decided to ask the Lord to surprise me...and I love that I am finally in a place in my life where I can ask the LORD to do that..
I never would have been content with out my five..but now I can just sit back and wait and let him SURPRISE me...and since I adhere to the foundings of the church(no birth control)..I am betting on one more...lol...
but we shall wait and SEE...
and in the mean time..
LIVE, LAUGH and LOVE deeply!

Jenn @ A Country Girl's Ramblings said...

I have 4~ 3 boys and 1 girl. I would like to have one more (at times!), but my husband is very satisfied with the four we have. So, for now I am just praying that if we are to have another the Lord would soften my husbands heart towards that. If not, that the Lord will help me be content to not have anymore.

tabby said...

That is a tough one. I have twin girls that will be 6mo next week. Through my whole pregnancy even before I knew it was twins I swore I didn't want anymore (very hard pregnancy). Now that they are here I am not willing to say I am done. I tell my husband I am glad there is two because I wouldn't have been able to wait for another and we would have been trying right away again. I would like one more pregnancy. I feel that I want one more. My husband is unsure. I was glad to hear one of the other girls say that they wouldnt mind another set of twins because I would love another set of twin girls buuut there is no garuntee of girls ha. Right now I am just trying to focus on my two healthy girls and what a blessing that is in itself. I pray about my other wants and know that if and when its time God will nudge me to have more just like he did with my first two. Best of luck deciding. You have 5 BEAUTIFUL little girls.

bass family said...

We have four beautiful little ladies (7, 2, 2, 1). We are done. For sure. Adoption is an option I'd never completely close the door on, but I struggle a lot with the idea. I have a difficult enough time feeling like I give my 4 girls enough one-on-one attention already. I feel like to add one more to the mix would be unfair. I've always said I want as many as I can take REALLY good care of... physically, emotionally, and spiritually. And I believe we've reached our limit. When I think about "maybe just one more" I am quickly reminded of the many times a day I fall short with the four I have. Why not concentrate on being the best mom I possibly can to the four I have instead of adding another person to the mix! I don't know how moms with many kids do it. But as for me and mine... 4 is just right :)

Lisa said...

I only have one, but we want at least one more (we'll stop at two or three).

I'm the oldest of 5 in 6 years and my mom was one of 9. It was not fun to have a big family at times. You are constantly getting comments.
But, other times it's was fun because there's constantly someone to talk to, play with, etc.

There's no way I'm having a big family though. I couldn't handle it.

Annika said...

4. 2 adopted and 2 biological. I'd love more, even thought of it last night when I was holding my fussy 7 month old. Call me crazy, I'd love a set of twins :) my are all singletons. I think the answer is different for each family. And you are wise not to make any drastic decisions right now!

Amy@My Front Porch said...

Just one almost 18 month old but we're working on more :)

Merry Lynn said...

We have two. Girl 3 and boy 2. 16.5 months apart and I love them deeply. I have always wanted four my husband says he signed on for three but thinking he might be done with two. Although, I know I am not done. I would like to be blessed with at least one more happy healthy pregnancy and baby God willing. Though after the last few months I have had with all the presurgery tests, surgeries, PET scan, etc we will now have to wait and see if we get the "go" ahead to even consider the conversation. Personally I know in my heart I am NOT done but I have to remember that it's all God's plan not mine. He knows my desires. Truly I would love love love for him to bless me with one more pregnancy equaling two babies. One girl and one boy. That way each of my current blessings could know the love of a same sex sibling just as well as they know the love they already have. Does that make sense. Adoption. YES.

Merry Lynn said...

PS. I think you should try for another prego round...maybe you'll get a bouncing baby boy this time around for those beautiful girls to love on and torture too. Grin. Truly I think every mom needs a boy, no love like a boy's love for his mommy. Besides I would love to know a boy name you'd pick out. I am sure it would be cool.

Amanda said...

I came to your blog from a tweet that Abigail Pogrebin sent out. I love her book, "One and the Same!"

I have spontaneous identical twin girls. I'm pretty darn sure that is all I want! I do get sad, because I never thought I'd only be pregnant only once in my life, and I would love to experience breastfeeding ONE baby instead of two at a time, but I'm happy with our little family of four. Perhaps in the future I'd like to do foster care, but for now, we are done having kids!

check out my twins at www.txtwins.blogspot.com!

Me and My Boys - Krista said...

For me, and this is JUST me, I only wanted two. Preferrably a boy first then a girl. Well, we got the boy first...and then got two more in one whack! So, apparently God wanted me to have three...boys, that is, not girls.

I'm perfectly happy and content with my wonderful boys. I love each of them tons! For us, that's it. We're finished.

I do know several exceptional mothers out there who have 5-10 children. That's not my calling, for sure. But it could be yours! :)

Faith said...

What SWEET baby photos! I just love your honesty here. I just blogged about it tonight. After spending all of my adult life pregnant or nursing it feels so weird to be "done" at least for now.
I have had FOUR babies in six years (2001, 2003, 205 & 2007) and my husband is SO done! So that pretty much makes up my mind for me. He is already stressed out and overwhelmed with our four and I am BLESSED and content with the children we have.
I miss the baby stage. Everything is simple then. HARD but simple. I feel like I'm built to want to have babies. I think I'll love moving onto new stages when we are not tied down to a nap schedule and we can do more things as a family without major meltdowns.
I love it that I don't get food and poop on me every day!!

Anonymous said...

I just found your blog via 'The Sneaky Mommy'. We have five ~ 8 yrs, 6 yrs, 2 yr old twins & 1yr old. EACH ONE is a blessing and a gift from God. I really enjoyed reading your blog ~ we also call our twins 'the Littles'. My tubes are double knotted now, but I'd love to be a foster parent ~ have to work on my husband with that one! Tracy from Canada.