Wednesday, February 10, 2010

There's Only 2 Ways Out Of Here

2 ways.

Sweating or Crying.

I’m looking for new jeans. I can’t get out during the day w/o my crew, and I’m left no choice but to head out on my search with all 5 in tow. This isn’t going to be pretty.

I know it’s going to be hard. But what else am I supposed to do…if I wait till after bedtime and after the mall closes, my options are limited.

Let’s talk for a minute. Jeans are a big deal – they can’t just be any jeans, they have to be the jeans. And what jeans are most popular right now? Ah, yes, the Skinny Jeans. Listen, I love to be in fashion, I’ve bought the knee high boots, I had set my goals high - but is it fair to ask a woman who has had 5 kids in 4 years to wear skinny jeans? My hips have been forever changed, people.

Knowing all this, I knew that this would be a unique jean experience. In this case, I would really need the perfect jean.

The fitting room. With 5 kids. Should not be allowed.

In fact, at the entrance to every fitting room there should be a counselor, a therapist of some sort. Someone to say, “You know, are those the best fit for your body? Is this a move in the right direction? Do you really feel that taking 5 kids in is the best thing? Is it beneficial for your overall emotional health? Let’s talk about your feelings.” I tell you, friends, I would spend a lot less time in fitting rooms if there was help like that.

So I enter with my crew. Babies are throwing food from the trays, and the older girls are asking what the numbers on the tags mean. Oh mercy - sweet mercy, please stop screaming what that number is…give mama a break…or a stiff drink…either one will do at this point – I think the Lord would understand. It's not really that I'm embarrassed, because I am made just like God wanted me - thankyouverymuch, but is it to much to aske for just a tiny bit of privacy??

I try them on, I'm under the 800 degree lamps they got hanging in there, and I'm smashed up against the mirror – because it’s a tight fit with 6 of us in there. Now I’m staring at my imperfections in close up view...good times.

They fit, I mean, I guess they do…as far as I could see standing only 3 inches from the mirror. Whether they look good or not is a whole 'nother post. I get dressed, sweep the cheerios to the side (don’t pretend you don’t), and try to figure out how to get us all out. I always imagine the door busting open and all of us falling out. That hasn’t happened yet.

I leave the fitting room only sweating, thanks to the intense lighting, and the fact that I have been pleading with my girls to just stand still for one stinkin' minute. Sweating is better than crying, right?

Do you shop with all your kids?

26 comments:

Tina Michelle said...

oh man, we need to live closer to each other. You could just drop them all off at my house and go on your hunt then we could trade babysitting times here and there!

I hope you find jeans soon enough. I make my man go with me on his day off and just watch the kids while I am in the dressing room or my sis goes with me. It makes things easier and no one is all flustered taking care of my (only 3) lovely children. I also bribe with candy!

Mother of Multiples said...

You speak the truth and I love following you because of all the women in your home. I have mostly boys..Come on over and check out your cool blog award that I have given you.

Heather

Laurel said...

After dinner, you need to leave those sweet girlies with their Daddy and you need to go to the mall by yourself.

Yes ... I have shopped with lots of little ones many times, but NOT when I need to go try on jeans.


mama of 13

Amber said...

i truly CAN'T STAND trying on clothes with all kids in tow! just two days ago i was in a very full dressing room when gibson said very, very loudly, "oooo mommy, you look so beautiful without your pants and shirt on!". gracious.

Stacie@HobbitDoor said...

You, my friend, need zafu.com. This will go a long way in finding the right jeans and you can shop from home--or at least come up with a game plan. That might help things go smoother (not as smooth as going alone, but one can't have everything!). ;-p

FineLittleGentlemen said...

I just laughed so hard, I cried! Really needed that this morning ;)

Jenn @ A Country Girl's Ramblings said...

This made me laugh! I have had some of those shopping moments, where you end up sweating as much as if you just finished running 3 miles on the tread mill!

Amy@My Front Porch said...

I was just thinking the other day how I had better enjoy this only having one child phase because it's relatively easy for me to get out of the house and tote her with me. I can't imagine 5!

bass family said...

HAHA! Love this story. You are so much braver than I. Of course, the closest mall to us is nearly two hours away, so we don't make that trek! I do almost ALL my shopping online!!

Marisa said...

I do go shopping with my kids and every time I wonder what I was thinking... and that's only with 2 in tow!

Jeremy and Jeni said...

Oh Kate...I feel for you!! Mine peek under the door at other people. I would have kept a couple for you. You need to take me up on that sometime. My girls would enjoy it.

Katy and Ross said...

I really needed to laugh this morning...thank you :)

(and by the way, I don't have kids to shop with and it STILL takes me forever to find jeans!)

Jennifer said...

Yes! I do shop with all of them....be glad they are all girls! My middle one (a boy) has said some really embarrassing things!!

My best jean find for moms with curves is Eddie Bauer's curvey fit and they come in LONG!!!

becky said...

Haha! Too funny, lady. Don't feel bad--you know me, I sweat (and occasionally cry...)in dressing rooms when I'm by myself! :)

Annika said...

online shopping i'm telling ya! order many sizes and styles and then return them! most places have free shipping codes these days, just google for it :)

tabby said...

you....are....AMAZING. I have yet to take my girls out in public. But if you can handle 5 I can handle 2. Go you!

Sarah said...

You are a BRAVE woman! I always seem to talk myself out of shopping before I ever get out the door...I guess my imaginations of what might happen are too vivid. :-) I hope your jeans work out!

Rana said...

Oh my goodness thanks for the laugh. I have been in this same spot before many times. I have to take my twins with me in the dressing room. Sometimes it's just not pretty.

Elizabeth said...

I try all the time and everytime I think...WOW I AM STUPID! I have decided that not one store is made for a double stroller!!!! If you find the perfect jean, you must let us know!!! I hate Jean shopping!

Miss said...

yes....yes I do! And I agree, a fitting room is NO place to bring 5 kids =)

Miss said...

I just read this outloud to my sister and we are both DYING laughing! (and I had already read it!)

"oh mercy...SWEET mercy!" my favorite line ever =)

Amy said...

Like the others, this defiitely brought on a chuckle.

I don't take my 9 year old son in the dressing room with me, but I do with my 3 yo daughter.

Naturally, Im trying to hurry because I want to get back out there to my son because who knows who is preying out there.
So, by the time I am telling my daughter to talk quieter and rushing to get my clothes on and off.... I am a hot mess by the time I leave there. I'm sure I left there with my shirt inside out a time or two.

:)

Faith said...

I laughed so hard at this post. I did the same thing with bathing suits during the summer with my four kids.
The way I buy jeans these days is at the consignment store. I buy like four pairs with the hope that one of them will fit. If they don't I re-consign them.
There's nothing like a really good pair of jeans! It's such an essential, especially after four kids!!! :)

Delena said...

You've got me laughing out loud! I feel your pain. And I really hate that skinny jeans are in style.

heather@it'stwinsanity said...

Well you know I don't go anywhere without my crew!

Tiffany said...

You are so funny! Found you from UBP10 and I followed the link to your adventures. I try to avoid going to get clothes for myself with my two. But when I have taken them on occasion and I try to get the biggest dressing room possible. Even then it's chaos, sometimes.