Friday, January 6, 2012

These Hips Were Made For Birthing (More Kids??)

Is this your last?

Are you finally done now that you have your boy??

What if you have another set of twins??

You know what my answer is to that last question that I get asked ALL the time??

"Well...I guess we'll love them and raise them."

The truth with a little sarcastic undertone. Nice, right? :)

I get why people ask those questions though. And I would imagine that every mom gets why people ask those questions - because every mom gets how hard her job is, and every mom gets that more kids might equal a tad more craziness. Especially when you have a newborn, and you're a week postpartum, and you haven't showered or brushed your teeth, and the baby is crying, and your other kids are fighting over who is mommy's biggest helper, and the washer just ate your only pair of post delivery net underwear.

Not that we've had that scenario played out in our own home.

The real answer to those questions? I don't know.

While our hearts are open to bringing more children into our home, we know that the great Author is the only one that knows what that plan would look like. We don't have any definite plans, and we haven't done anything permanent.

I know that society doesn't often view children like we do, and I know that we are judged for having a bigger family. After all, children take your time, your money, your sanity, your plans, your vacations, your freedom, and your dreams, right??

That is so wrong.

Those views make me sad. I feel that these kiddos have been a way bigger blessing in my life than I have been in theirs. They give me hope, they make me smile, they point me to Him, and they remind me to embrace the small things in this life.

Is it hard to see other couples or families go on lots of dates or getaways? Sure.
Is it near impossible for us to find a sitter to care for all 6? Clearly.
Are there moments when I pray for one stinkin' minute to myself? Yep.
Does our budget accommodate kids needs and wants more than our own? Of course.

But would any of those things trump the giggles coming from babe #6 tonight as I blew bubbles on his stomach? Uh, no. Not even a chance.

I will say that since we moved, our eyes have been opened to things we have never thought about. As much as my womb will always flutter a little at the sight of a round belly full of newborn goodness, I have also had the chance to spend some time this past year with kids who are just looking for a home environment to come to.

(our kids are in public schools, and YES, we have specific reasons and convictions for that decision if you'd ever like to know.)

One little girl in particular has changed my heart. I don't know the whole situation at home, and I don't know exactly what she is looking for, but I do know that she always wants to be here, and I want her to feel like she is always welcome. There are kids in your own backyard who need love.

A friend with a large family who's kids were grown told me this once, "Be the go-to house. Be the place that the kids and their friends know they can always come to and hang out." I really want that for our family, my home growing up was like that and I plan to carry it on here.

I don't always do this mom thing with a joyful heart or full confidence, but I'm a work in progress and I know that God will continue the work He started in me. At least that's what I cling to.

Maybe I will carry more babes, maybe we will foster or adopt, and maybe we will just be the home that loves on kids that need love while we raise our own 6. The Lord only knows.

We are open, to whatever He has in store :).


Marva said...

First off, you are an awesome Mom! I love your view as what a blessing children are and you are SO right!!! You have my prayers and support and may God always bless you and yours!!! Hugs and blessings!

Marinewife1111 {Marcella} said...

Whatever works best for your family!!

Your blog is a blessing to read, I love hearing about your ups and downs!!

Steph said...

You are SO right. Sometimes I get frustrated with people who comment on "all" of our kiddos, who have to say "finally got your boy, now you're done, right?!"

Then I think...those people just don't realize what they're missing out on, and I think how lucky we are.

And no matter how many children people have, it's a personal choice, and I, too, want to be the "go to" house, for everyone to be here. For me, the more, the merrier...

Sometimes I wish we would have more, but after four high risk pregnancies and a critically ill newborn, I think we are done, and maybe we can open our home to those children who need a place...

*Ross and Katy* said...

If you move to Virginia I'll babysit :)

I'm the crazy person who used to keep my Godson (and his 3 siblings) and also watch the 2 kids next door so that both mommas could run to the grocery store or get a cup of coffee together. During my college summers, keeping the 6 of them (3 girls, 3 boys) were some of the best memories :)

Corrina Beana said...

Although I only have half the amount of kids you do, this is exactly how I feel! I would love to have more and sometimes I think "just one more" but then I'd have another, and probably think the same thing again. I know that if the Lord desires me to carry another child--it will happen no matter what we do. Adoption would be amazing, but something the Lord would have to really speak to my husband. I too want to have the "go-to" house and figure perhaps my elusive 4th child will be the friends of my children and those who need a little extra love. Nice to hear someone else who has thought the same thing!

Carrie said...

I love this post. I love the idea of being the "go-to house". I love the thought that maybe that extra love you have to give to another child, may be used on a child right in your backyard. This was great, thanks!!!

Anonymous said...

Ugh, you always make me cry at work! (maybe I shouldn't be reading blogs at work!) Love my two girls and have been chatting with Him about what's next for us. Thanks for sharing your stories, good to hear from another Ohio mom!

Annika said...

Beautiful words! Right there with you on so many things! Children are a blessing, worth every tear.

Marisa said...

Good stuff, Kate.

Anonymous said...

I find myself in the same situation that you are in. I am the mother to eight wonderful children (aged 10-6mo.) and while my family is perfect at the moment, I am open to the idea of more children. My husband and i have allowed the Lord to decide how many children we have, just so long as we can provide them with a loving and financially stable household, and hope that he will bless us with more children.

The Beaver Bunch said...

I love it! I just tweeted last night about how much of a "burden" our kids are. Har har.

Such a "burden" that our 7 year old unload and loaded the dishwasher just because she wanted to help. Then she washed the remaining pot in the sink and wiped the counters off.

I mean, come on! She wanted to bless me because she wanted me to be able to spend time with the littler kids.

What if she was our only child? I doubt her motivation would have been the same, though she may have completed the same task. (Not that there's anything wrong w/ having 1 kid & I'm sure there are plenty of only children who would do the same for their Mommas!)

My point is, children are definitely work. They certainly require sacrifice. But are they a burden? NO.

They are always, always a blessing. Always.

And, I'd LOVE to hear about your convictions w/ public school. We homeschool because that's what God has called US to do. I love hearing how God is using other people in their specific callings.

Anonymous said...

Aww. I love this so much.

I am going back and forth about homeschool, private school, or public school. I would love to hear your thoughts on that.

Sarah said...

Love your post! Children are SUCH a blessing!

I would also love to hear your thoughts on why you chose public school. My oldest is 2 so I am just starting to think about those things.

Hillary @ The Other Mama said...

Amen! Amen! So proud for you and your love of God, kids, family- it's all one, really.
Love you bunches!

Jenny said...

I love your blog. I love the way you write with your heart on the page.

ACampofSorts said...

Would love to echo the requests for why you chose public school over home school as I face that same decision with my 5 year old.

Mama D.'s Dozen said...

My 9 year old (and youngest) prayed last night ...

"Thank you, Jesus, for Mom. Thank you that she married Dad. Thank you that they had 12 children ... because if they hadn't, then I wouldn't be here."

When we got married, we would NEVER have imagined that we would have a DOZEN children. But, I cannot imagine life without my PRECIOUS 9 year old.

:) :) :)

Robin @ Pink Dryer Lint said...

Love this post. You are a mother after God's own heart. :)

mandbrid said...

What a beautiful post Kate! My heart feels much the same.