Putting my heart out there and sharing about our foster journey. It's hard to talk about how much we love when we know the reality of how much we can lose. Faith over fear, friends. It's our new motto :).
Little M turned 7 months yesterday. Can't believe how fast the time goes.
Feels like just a short time ago I went to the NICU to get him. We have lots of appointments for him at our Childrens Hospital, and every time I walk through the doors all the memories of the nights in the hospital with him come rushing back. Still can't believe my pregnant body slept on that little couch for 2 weeks. God sure gets you through the tough times, doesn't He?
He is so, so insanely sweet. I wish so badly I could share him with you completely.
We have struggled off and on through the last 7 months wondering what was going on with M. He was always sick, and his immune system couldn't fight anything off. His breathing was crazy (talk about making a mama nervous), and his eating was poor. The Dr's finally realized when he was about 2 months old that he was aspirating everything into his lungs because he wasn't swallowing correctly, and he had a feeding tube put in.
I remember crying that night next to his crib when they put it in. I hated that he needed it but I knew that it was our last option before things took a really bad turn. I was already so in love with him and he had only been with us for a month. I knew that night that he was the child we had prayed for when we started this journey. And no matter how it all turns out, he will always be the one God prepared us for. He will always be part of us. God knew we needed him just as much as he needed us. We are forever changed because of this little boy.
He's been slowly growing ever since. And can I just tell you that he is the happiest little guy? So smiley and sweet. He is always giggling at the kids and stays pretty content. We were told last week that all his struggles point to one diagnosis, Cerebral Palsy. We kind of saw this coming, but still felt blindsided by how it felt when they confirmed it.
That moment was hard on my heart.
But you know what? No diagnosis will ever trump the fact that God saved his life in the very beginning. No diagnosis will ever be bigger than the story of how God picked him up out of a dark place and put him where he needed to be. He will never be "a kid with issues", he will always be our little miracle.
He has biological famliy that loves him but can absolutely not care for him or provide services as this journey for him unfolds. So we are asking everyone to literally beg for this boys life. Pray for his safety and his health, pray for the biological parents and their health, and pray for us as we continue to try and love them all like Jesus wants us to.
Our hearts are completely attached. I feel that he belongs here, but I know the system often makes crazy decisions. I am asking the Lord to let me be the one to send him off on his first day of Kindergarten. The one with him in his therapy appointments. And the one to hold his hand through it all. I just want to watch him thrive, and I believe that he will!
So thats where we are. We have appointments today and will have lots to come, many weekly. But we're ready for it. God called us here and I know He will walk with us through it.
Thanks for hanging around, thanks for listening, thanks for praying :).