Tuesday, December 11, 2012

Chaos Is My Calling

It really is.

It's been a day. Not awful, but not perfect. I yelled some and laughed some and even thought of crying at one point. You know, the typical emotions of a mother. The holidays are here and the girls have been asking to do some holiday baking. So instead of going to the store alone at night like a rational human being, I decided to take my crew shopping for the items we needed. And when I say shopping, I mean throwing things into the cart at random and just hoping that we have everything when we get home.

I know, planning and organizing shopping trips, I'm GREAT at it.

I rarely take them all to the store anymore by myself, but I suppose I was feeling adventurous today. In this sweet season with lots of little's, my #1 goal in any store is to just survive. I’ve got 2 hanging on the end of the cart, 1 whining, 1 strapped to me in a carrier asleep, and today I actually had 2 that were reenacting a sword fight from a game on the Wii. I can’t make this stuff up. I’m checking my list, and I’m begging them to behave for just a "few more minutes". 
After all, we are in public.

I start to see that my shopping partners have had enough, and I know it’s time to make an exit. I’m asking God for patience, or a magic button to press that will send grandma to the rescue. You’ve been there right??

I announce that we are leaving, and to my surprise, they are equally as upset about leaving as they are about being there in the first place. Strange, aren’t they?
I quickly unloaded our items and prayed to the sweet Lord that we would have the fastest check out lady EVER created. I paid and loaded my bags back in the cart, apologized to the cashier for the chaos that is my life, and started to usher the kids towards the door.
On our way out we passed a mirror, a two way mirror. You know the ones that look like a mirror, but it’s actually a window for the office on the other side? Well the girls had to stop and check it out – they get such a kick out of making funny faces. I tried to explain, “girls, there are people on the other side who can see you acting silly. They are watching you giggle and make those faces.”
But they didn’t care. They’re never afraid of what other people think. A trait that I admire, and need.
As I stood there and watched them laugh, I felt so blessed. The innocence of a child is so refreshing. All of the sudden I felt bad for apologizing for my kids. After all, they were just being kids. Heck, who doesn't want to have a sword fight in the freezer section? At that moment I couldn’t even remember what was frustrating about our shopping trip, or who was fighting over what, or what display was now face down in aisle 9. All I could think was, “I love these little's, and I am so thankful that the Lord picked me to be their mama. I’ll take the chaos over anything, any day.”
You can try to usher an orderly group of kids through the grocery and apologize for them all you want, but I'm beginning to see that there are not a lot of ways to control this much of grace, this many blessings, this amount of gifts. The joy in their sweet spirits is on constant overflow.
I just love that about them. I should have that unshakable joy.

The kids, sometimes I think they're helping Him raise me as I try to raise them.
It’s easy for us mom’s to get stressed out when things get a little crazy. But you know what I keep reminding myself? God made me their mother, I’m doing the best I can, and He will equip me with as much patience & love as I need for all the little loves in my home. That is more than I could ever ask for, actually.
So here’s hoping that we all can find love, patience, and joy in Him today. At a time when utensils are flying across the table, and you have applesauce in your hair – not that that ever happens to me.
Being a mom isn't the least chaotic life, but it is the best life :).


Anonymous said...

Another great post. I'm just wondering how we tap into the patience that He equips us with. Any pointers?

Mama Ds Dozen said...

Love it!

You are BLESSED!

:) :) :)

Angela Moore said...

Amen! As a single mom to three (9, 7, and 1) I can relate to this 1000%. I love the innocence of my children and even when they're not "behaving" I constantly have to remind myself that they're just being kids. We are so blessed as mothers aren't we??

Shannon said...

I needed to hear something like this. As the mother of 4 small boys our house and our life are quite "crazy" also. Sometimes I need to take a step back, an extra deep breath and remember to enjoy this "craziness" that is our life as it wont be like this forever and one day I will probably miss this.

Robin Kramer @ Pink Dryer Lint said...

"I announce that we are leaving, and to my surprise, they are equally as upset about leaving as they are about being there in the first place. Strange, aren’t they?"

Laughed out loud right here, Kate. I love this paradox!

Savvy Little Women - Kate said...

Thanks, ladies! So glad I'm not the only mama who is trying to find beauty in the chaos :).

The Beaver Bunch said...

"The kids, sometimes I think they're helping Him raise me as I try to raise them."

This made my eyes fill with tears.

Love you friend. Standing in the trenches of chaos, right beside you, laughing.

Clever Blonde -Donna G said...

Oh, I wanted you to stay in the shop for longer. I love to hear of the free and innocent fun your kiddos have at the shops. A smile lit my face as soon as I realised it was a shopping post. I was such a different mum to my two because they were 11 yrs apart and being free to be a kid all the time sure is a better way. My boy always felt free to be himself as long as he didn't damage anything or make extra work for the staff. He would play hide & seek under dresses and I let him - it caused no harm. He would dance and sing. Even now, at 13 he will occasionally burst into song at the grocery store. You are right it is so very important that they grow up not being afraid of others judgement. I live with that curse. Having fun in a respectful way is different to running wild.