Thursday, September 8, 2011

A Confession...

It's after bedtime here, and the house is sorta quiet.

This little guy is all congested still so I plan on snuggling with him often throughout the night tonight...


Having 6 kids keeps me busy. I mean, real busy. Busier than I ever imagined. And lately I have let myself get so tired, maxed out, and sometimes frozen by what all lays ahead in one single day.

Whew, it feels good to say that out loud.

Motherhood in general is just...busy. It's hard (but rewarding) work.

It's like 1000 jobs shoved into one title, isn't it? There's not one class I took in college that could've prepared me for this line of work - only He can prepare me, and yet He also will walk me through at the same time.

From sun up to sun down, around the clock, 24 hours a day, I (and most of you) am a mom. It's a wonderful job but comes with feelings of self-doubt, pressure, overwhelming moments, and times when I feel like my plate is so full I can hardly see over the top.

It makes me feel anxious sometimes - like I can't keep up, like I'm losing myself in this calling, and like I'm not making a difference in these little lives.

That's a lie, I know.

I am completely convinced that while motherhood fills your heart to the brim with a love you didn't know existed - it is a calling to make you more holy, more like Him, and more dependant on Him.

We tackle the laundry, trim fingernails, work on homework, wipe noses, kiss boo-boo's, break up fights, feed the masses, and some of us even fish Disney Princesses out of the toilet.

We try to do it all.

It's easy to find myself at the end of the day with my face in my hands asking, "how is this crazy, confusing, work-in-progress-mom gig glorifying to Him? How is this making a Kingdom difference?"

The days I feel like that the most are the days I try to cram to much into. It's a habit, I guess. I am guilty of often committing to too much.

But lately He has been reminding me of some things...



that He has blessed me with a heart that is full in ways I never imagined was possible...

that it's not about what I have on my to-do list, but about Who I am serving...

that too many outside commitments makes for too much stress...

that my priority is being here, in my home...

that I can do this with His help...

and that sometimes the most redundant tasks on this child rearing journey have the most purpose.

As my mom always says, "They need ALL of you, Kate. You are called to be wholly there for them...there is nothing more important than being right where He has placed you, everything else can wait."

That couldn't be more true, and there couldn't be a sweeter place to be than where He wants you...


It's time to simplify a little. Time to clear our commitments a bit so I can focus even more on those 6 little loves without distraction. Time to say no to some things.

I'm going to be reminding myself that every little task, every little onesie I fold, and every little crumb I sweep off the floor is for a bigger purpose, His purpose.

This motherhood thing is for His glory - even on a week like this when the only prayer time I have seems to be when my head hits the pillow at night and I whisper "oh Lord...I'm exhausted."

It's a great thing that He gives us strength when we need an extra boost, huh? 

He is good to us, thats for sure.

Well I'm off to go get that 4month little love, he's wimpering and my heart just can't take it :).

Hope you're all having a great week :).

12 comments:

Provl8dy said...

Dear friend you are speaking the same things that have been going on in my heart. If I am so busy with outside ministry, I won't have time for the ministry that God has placed in my home. And if I do not have energy or time to tend to the little people within my home, how can I effectively disciple them? Dishes, laundry, wiping sticky fingerprints, getting sticky kisses and joyfully serving my family IS a wonderful ministry. In fact is it tailor made for each mom. Let us not become weary in doing good for our families and within our homes.

Mama D.'s Dozen said...

Beautiful words from a beautiful mama. :)

We are doing a major simplify/reorganize/re-focus right now. We "only" have 6 kids left at home and we are "downsizing".

Seriously, the last couple of years have been over the top HARD due to multiple crises stacked on top of each other, so we are no sitting and trying to catch our breathe ... trying to rebuild ... trying to figure out who we are (as a family with 6 kids at home instead of 12).

I am stepping back from everything this fall, and looking forward to just BEING with my children ... teaching them ... playing with them ... enjoying them.

Hope your week is BLESSED!

Laurel

Marva said...

So true! Thank you for the reminder! Blessings!

Nikki said...

What a great post! And what a wonderful reminder that our children are our most important job, not keeping the house clean or preparing delicious food. I needed that reminder, and I probably need it just about every week.

Julia said...

Wow! Just what I needed to hear. This morning I was feeling so overwhelmed and tired of being the only one that picks up those tissues, that cleans those toilets, that washes the fingerprints off of everything...etc. Just tired. Tired of the kids not listening, tired of raising my voice because they didn't hear me the first 2 times. Your post brought everything together and told me that I'm doing the most important thing I can do, be a mother. You are right, its exhausting. But its our highest calling. Its hard to remember that when we are in the thick of it. Day after day.

Sure helps to be real, and thank you for doing that this morning!

Asia said...

I'm not a mother but I am thankful for mothers like you who take care of their children. There are mothers who work hard to take care of their family and I am very thankful for them.

Thoughts for the day said...

Adorable pictures, yes you are doing right now what is most important. There is no better job and nothing is more precious than a smile, a hug or a cuddle or two.
Blessings to you and rest too.

Sarah said...

Awww, I love this post so much Kate. You are an amazing person and an awesome mom.

jenny said...

Oh, dear friend, I love this post on so many levels. Sacrificial mothering is not easy....but it certainly pleases the Lord. What rich seeds you are planting in your family by being available to them.

trooppetrie said...

2 months ago we were blessed with 2 more children. I feel so much like this post was written for me. Today we had nothing on the calander and i decided I would do nothing. I thought about cleaning or working on stuff for school and decided no way we need a day to relax

Ruth said...

Lincoln is getting so big! I don't want my little boy to get that big! But they all do, eventually, and then it's a new "best stage." =)

I loved this post! Thanks for sharing the struggles we all face. (But, I do think I have one up on you in the simplyfying department. I decided: I AM NOT GOING TO FOLD THE ONESIES!!! I'm just gonna stuff. =)

Lenae said...

I NEEDED this. Love your heart, and so wish I could actually sit down and chat with you sometimes!