Friday, April 12, 2013

To My Only Son And My Future Daughter-In-Law

Lincoln turns 2 next week. Someone hold me, please. We are throwing a Race Car party this weekend in which I've stayed true to my crazy self and have gone completely overboard. I posted something like this a year ago and thought I would again :). You have to laugh to keep from crying as your babies grow in to not-so-tiny-babies anymore, right?? (Although, he is still my know, forever.)


They all say I favor you.

And they all speak a small amount of truth.

Even my best friends say that 20 years from now I will no doubt be sitting across from Dr. Phil on some Meddling Mother-in-Law show where I will be arguing that I am not "pushy", I'm just "really involved".

It's not that I actually love you more or have placed you as my "favorite" child, it's just that my connection to you is far different than my connection to your sisters. So many people told me the bond would be unique, but I just didn't believe it.

From the moment you were born I knew our relationship would be special.

You see, your sisters and I have the same hormones running through our veins which basically binds us for life. We'll hopefully have that "mother/daughter/best friends" relationship as they get older just like my mom and I do. They'll call me to talk about everything and nothing. We will talk about clothes, complain about pms, shop for prom dresses, plan weddings, and wait in line for $5 crockpots on Black Friday.

Lord willing, we will always travel in a pack. I already look forward to those future memories with your sisters.

Oh, we also will talk about your new girlfriend that you bring to dinner when we all go to the bathroom together. You might as well know that now.

But deep in my mothering heart, I know that won't be the deal with you. I know that boys leave their moms for a girl that has stolen their heart. That's why I have eaten up every single second of you while I can.

I know that before I know it you will be running around with the neighbor boys, playing in the mud, working out in the garage with dad, joining the football team, and then ultimately find some know-it-all girl who thinks she knows more about you than I do.

Keep in mind that I spent 9 months carrying you, gained almost 50 pounds, endured swelling that could've been featured on the Discovery Health channel, and then had my abdomen cut open to bring you into this world. Maybe you should write those facts down on an index card, have it laminated, and always keep it in your back pocket. Just in case you ever need a refresher.

It's probably best that you make sure any prospect is strong enough to embrace 1 mother-in-law and 5 sister-in-laws. She's going to need a GREAT sense of humor.

So I thought I'd help you and your future bride out by drafting up a set of vows for her - I will work on yours in the years to come. Please know that these are subject to change at anytime, especially as your wedding gets closer...

I, girl who is 2nd place to your mother, take you Lincoln, to be my husband.

(I also take your mother to be my mentor and go-to girl for all life questions. After all, she does know everything.)

To have and to hold from this day forward.

(And speaking of holding, she should hold all of our children as soon as I deliver. She does have tons of experience and she did raise exceptional human beings like yourself and your beautiful sisters.)

For better or for worse,

(Although I just would like to say that life will always be better when your mother is right smack in the middle of our business. She has earned the privilege of knowing everything about me and my ways. I should probably give her access to all my social networking sites.)

for richer, for poorer,

(Which by the way, money will never matter because your mom can guide me on big purchases, shopping trips, and help me find the best deals on the latest trends...she is after all such a fashionista.)

in sickness and in health,

(And when you are sick, I know you'll want your mom to come take care of you because she is the only woman that will ever be able to truly comfort you. She's your world.)

 to love and to cherish;

(Even though I will never cherish you like your mother does. You should call her everyday and remind her how much you and I adore her. Schedule weekly lunch dates with her too so you can get her opinion on important decisions we are making at the time.) 

from this day forward until death do us part.

(Now lets go to the reception where your mom should have the first dance with you.)

I think that is completely appropriate, don't you? We can work on them as you get older...I'm sure I'll need to make some changes here and there.

Love you, my sweet Lincoln. You are my favorite little man on the planet, forever and always.


I know all you other moms of boys have vows just like this already written, right? No? I'm the only one? Oh well. I'm ok with that :).


wonderchris said...

So sweet.

And 2!?!? How is that even possible?
Happy Birthday, Lincoln!

iheartdeals said...

I just love you! This cracks me up. :)

Jojo said...

It's ok momma... he's only 2 ! you have time before your little man gets married...
oh dear, time goes that quick??? My boy is 3 ... and, as long as i'm on this Earth, he will never ever get married ! LOL !!
boys are too special !

Anonymous said...

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How to read this book?
First read the Introduction, then start on Chapter 1, read through all the verses, then on to Chapter 2, and so on, until you finish all 18 chapters.

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Hare Krishna, Hare Krishna, Krishna Krishna, Hare Hare
Hare Rama, Hare Rama, Rama Rama, Hare Hare

In the end, what do you have to lose?