My hardest job and my greatest blessings, all lined up after an afternoon of playing out back :).
(I know some of you saw this on Facebook already)
Hope you all had a great weekend!
We have a big grocery bill.
I'm sure you could've guessed that. I have been getting frustrated lately because it seems like I go to the store, drop a bundle of money, and then am trying to figure out what to make for dinner 3 days later.
Sometime a while back I stopped making a grocery list. You can't believe it, right?? So I buy a lot of groceries, but then need to go back later to pick up additional things for our dinners because I didn't plan them ahead of time.
I know, it's bad, I am ashamed.
But I have decided to get organized with the grocery shopping again. I have to. It's time to meal plan.
I would do the coupon thing, but honestly, I don't like it. And more than that, I don't get it. Not to mention I don't have the space to store 54 boxes of cereal or brownie mix at any given time. I also am pretty picky about what goes into the kids, and besides things like soap and toothpaste, I really don't find many coupons for food that I'd buy anyway.
Although, when a friend calls and says, "Print these two coupons off and go to Kroger and you'll get cases of juice boxes for 23 cents!", I'll do it. Basically it appears that I need an assistant to find the deals, plan them out, and then send me on my way. But I feel like hiring a coupon assistant defeats the purpose of the couponing in the first place.
Sometimes the frugal bug will bite me and I get all pumped up and start cutting coupons and searching websites, but that flame burns out quickly.
(I really do admire those of you out there who do the coupon thing successfully, for real.)
Seeing those people sweat it out at the register on Extreme Couponing stresses me out. The cutting and the binders and the lingo and the thought of trying to get 87 sticks of deodorant into my bathroom cabinet makes me feel a tad crazy inside. I already have enough stress in my life, people.
ANYWAY.
I'm going to meal plan. That way I'll have a list and am taking an oath to stick to it in an attempt to shave some dollar bills off the ol' grocery budget and to stop buying things we don't really need. My goal is to make a lot of crockpot meals because our nights are so busy, and do a lot of veggies and fruits as sides because, well, I eat a lot of them.
And what better time to fire up my crockpot as much as possible than Fall?? I love a warm & healthy meal for my family at the end of a long Fall day. As a side note, are you all loving the cool air and the pumpkin scents as much as me??
This week I'm making this Chicken Chili, Vegetable soup, and some others. I love that I can make double batches of chili or soup in the crockpot and then freeze them :). So here I go, I'm going to meal plan and save some time and money at the same time...hopefully.
Maybe I could post my weekly recipes here for accountability :)??
I'm off to chase down the kiddos. Hope you are having a great Friday!
But oh, how I need them.
They don't need that lady who's rushing to get all the housework done...
who is always looking at her phone...
or who is clearing them out of the kitchen so she can sweep.
They need their mama.
She sat down at the table during nap time and said, "you ready for all this, honey?"
I sat down with our sweet, sweet caseworker and buckled in for the extensive and personal questions that she had in store. It was painless for the most part.
We have been insanely blessed by this woman. She hugs us tight proving that she does care about us and our journey, and she talks of how God does great things through foster care and adoption.
She loves the kids, we love the kids, but more importantly, Jesus really loves these kids. Children that He knit together in possibly an unhealthy womb. Children that have the same need for love and family that my kids and your kids have.
The past week or so as our training and home studies have been coming to an end, fear creeps in. I'm excited yet nervous of the unknowns, even though I know He has the highs and lows planned perfectly.
But at that table as I signed papers and confirmed details, I realized something.
Right there on our weathered kitchen table, where we gather our comfy little family and enjoy meals together, was an invitation.
An invitation from Him to step out, to take courage, and to fix my eyes on Him as He continues to lead us. An invitation to trust in the unknowns, to truly believe, and to hold tightly to the the One who writes our story.
An invitation to move without fear.
It's an invitation to love.
Being able to soon wrap my arms around a child who has no family is all grace. Deciding that there is room for more in this humble home and in our simple life is all His leading. Children are gifts. It's that simple.
We had an At-Home-Date-Night tonight, its usually how we do all our date nights these days :). But I am finally thankful for that after spending so much time envying the couples that could go out so often.
Our full house that keeps us "tied down" is our greatest blessing. I'm thankful for His invite, the one He extends to all of us with specific plans for each specific family.
He guides our steps - sometimes you just have to pick up His invitation, trust, and hold on tight.
Change is good!
I actually have a love-hate relationship with it myself. I love new chapters and seasons and fresh starts. But I, like many people, are always hesitant of the unknown and being out of my comfort zone.
But that's a different blog post.
So.
Welcome! Things have moved, stuff has been added, and items have been taken away. Oh, and the name has sorta changed.
But no worries, even though at the top I'm sporting the new Filled To The Brim title, you're still going to find my crew and I at the same old url, www.savvylittlewomen.com.
You can also find us at Target.
Or at the local park running crazy and swinging to our hearts content...
Lincoln seemed fine when he woke up.
Through the night he was up a tad and I wondered if he was getting sick, but he seemed to go back to sleep and wasn't showing many symptoms of a bug.
We all rose this morning and I took my littlest ladies to Tuesday School. It's a Preschool that is only one morning a week at a local church - the girls love it, they were ready for a little something of their own.
So I took Lincoln with me to the Dr.'s for a little check up for myself. The short story is, I've been having some heart palpitations. The long story is, well, there isn't one. It's been worrying me, and even though I know it can be totally normal, I wanted to have it checked out.
They decided to do an EKG on me just as a precaution (it all turned out fine), and while I laid there, the nurse was telling me that stress and anxiety can cause these - all while picking up my crying baby and laying him on my chest during the test.
I have a screaming child. On my chest. During an EKG.
I DON'T KNOW WHY I WOULD BE ANXIOUS OR STRESSED.
I can't even get an EKG by myself!
But that wasn't the end of it. They wanted to draw blood just to check some levels. So I head into the other room with my little guy and sit down in the chair. Have I told you that I hate needles?? I do, I really dislike them. I think nurses are hero's.
But I had myself pretty calm and ready for that tiny prick when all the sudden Lincoln starts throwing up. Everywhere. As in, the thighs of my jeans were soaked completely through. It was even inside his shoes.
Too much info? Sorry.
You know those mommy moments when you just stop and watch whats happening for a few seconds before you react because you are also stunned just like the bystanders? I had one of those moments.
I felt so bad for him, even though I was completely unsure as to how I was going to pick up the girls with "throw-up jeans" on. I expressed this to the insanely sweet nurse who was in the room with me and she said this...this was so great...
"Honey, you go clean him and yourself up in the bathroom, then we'll take your blood, and then if you have time you go home and change before preschool pick up. You're dealing with kids, just take it one step at a time."
I love when God shows up in the doctors office. When He uses a random person to speak some truth into my chaotic soul.
"The next thing", I thought to myself. Just do the next thing.
It's humbling to walk out of the office with your pants soaked down to the knee (I'm actually laughing now that I'm thinking about it!), but it's all part of this humbling calling of motherhood, right??
I wouldn't trade one stressful minute of it.
I just had to share my crazy day with you. He's napping right now and has refrained from puking on me in any other public place. He's good to me like that :).
Here's to crazy Mondays...I mean, Tuesdays :).
I have given up Diet Coke. This is important for you to know.
I tend to give up diet coke once a year for a period of time. And then after doing well for a while, I decide to have one every now and then which ultimately leads to me buying cases and cases and keeping them in every room to relieve the don't-ever-leave-me-again-diet-coke anxiety.
In foster training over the weekend, I was talking to this lady who sits next to me. I was telling her how I was kicking the Diet Coke habit and she said she had done the same thing recently. She went on to tell me that she would always pour her diet Coke out in the yard when she got out of her car and it started killing the grass.
IT WAS KILLING THE GRASS.
(Thank you, foster care buddy, for confirming my decision.)
So.
Yesterday I was trying to talk myself out of caving and opening a can to help ward off what was surely a caffeine starved headache, and I stayed strong. Walk away, I told myself, just walk away.
I literally paced in front of the fridge for a minute and debated over what to do. Which proves that I'm clearly not as busy as you might think.
I decided to make a cup of coffee at 3pm to give me that little energy boost I was looking for. So I grabbed the coffee maker and began to move it to a different part of the counter, in which the pot slid out of the machine and shattered.
IT SHATTERED RIGHT AT MY CAFFEINE DEPRIVED FEET.
After I fell to my knees and asked the good Lord why He would take away the only opportunity I had for caffeine (<--- I may be embellishing that a bit), I pulled myself together and decided to get myself a nice big glass of ice water. It was the choice I was supposed to be making in the first place, afterall.
By this point, I was cursing every article that has proven my Diet Coke to be bad. Under my breath, of course.
So I sat and let the tears flow as I drank my water.
Not really, but I might have of cried if the kids wouldn't have been around.
I'm only on day 3. And now I have no coffee machine. If you see me soon in the grocery store carrying 20 cases of pop to my car, just look the other way. Pretend you don't see it. Act as if I haven't given in.
And hug me, and then take me out for a carbonated beverage :).
I worry, I get anxious, and I can let fear of the unknown consume my mind from time to time.
It's kinda funny, actually. Because for the most part, I'm a pretty laid back, go with the flow kind of gal.
Unless you're interrupting the flow of my sleep, then I'm more of a breathing fire kind of gal.
True story.
But the big things, the situations that are basically out of my control, those things that I can't change, the giant decisions we have to make, the leaps of faith we're called to - that is what I worry about, even though I am fully aware that we serve a God who tells us not to worry.
Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. Matthew 6:34
Making the life changing choices are always the ones that linger the most, even when you can see the hand of God so clearly. It's that decision to go back to work, to homeschool or public school, to go against what society believes to be normal, to add more kids, to not add more kids, or making those hard parenting decisions.
It's us facing a much more messed up county and system than we expected in our foster to adopt journey. And it's also us choosing to show compassion and grace to birth parents who are making really bad choices.
But when you feel something in your core that is so strong that you can't help but follow it, nothing else matters. I read somewhere one time that you are the strongest when you are the most afraid and press on anyway.
Don't let a bad seed grow.
The world in general will plant seeds of doubt and worry and fear. Especially when you are going against the grain or the strong opinions of people you may love and trust. I hung this on our fridge a couple weeks back after reading it during a devotion because I love the reminder...
4 years ago I started blogging.
This may seem like a small deal to you, but considering I have yet to really stick with many other hobbies other than drinking diet coke over crushed ice, shopping the clearance aisles at Target, and napping anytime the chance should arise, it's quite the accomplishment for me.
Now, the above might not seem like hobbies to you, but believe me, they are.
Back to the subject at hand. I was pregnant with these almost 4yr old sweeties when this whole thing started...
when you realize time truly does fly.
That moment when you remember kissing them on their first day of preschool...
90 days of memories.
Summer is dwindling for us, the older 3 girls will be starting school on Tuesday. I can't for the life of me wrap my mind around the fact that I have a 3rd grader and two 1st graders.
Ella is using words like locker, and study hall - and I'm reminding her of the 8 things I want her to remember and telling her stories of back in the stone age when I didn't have a locker till middle school. She asked me the other day if they had phones when I was young.
Nice. I'm only 31, sister.
Life is comfortable. Life is blessed. And He has shown us much grace as He has carried us through the highs and lows of parenthood.
Years back as Eric and I would talk back and forth about our family and what we predicted it to look like, adoption was just a passing topic. It was something we would talk about, but we never moved forward with.
But then, without telling a soul, we went ahead and started into our foster to adopt paperwork right before little Lincoln burrowed himself into my belly.
And a sweet detour was born :).
We settled in as a family of 8 and breathed in all that newborn baby boy goodness. Life seemed normal and our routine seemed in place when the topic came up again. Foster Care. Adoption. Really?
We talked and prayed and waited.
And then on a whim this Summer, we met up with some friends in Tennessee where we were able to get some insight and answers from a family just like us. After talking and laughing and sharing joys and fears about our already crazy (but grace filled) life, it all started to become clearer. It was time to move forward.
(On a side note, would you mind lifting them up in prayer? They have been through a month of heartache and I'd love for you to pray for peace and healing.)
There are almost 1000 children in our county alone who have no permanent home, no belongings, and no voice.
But we have a voice, and we're ready to use it.
"Learn to do good. Seek justice. Help the oppressed. Defend the cause of the orphans. Fight for rights of widows." Isaiah 1:17
I read that truth, but I'm scared.
But not as scared as a child who has been pulled from their home, and not as scared as a baby laying in the hospital with no mother to hold them against her chest and rock them.
I cry when I think of it. In fact, if you're planning on talking to me in person about it right now, you may want to bring some tissues.
My heart. It's literally aching for these orphans.
I'm emotional as God continues to reveal this new chapter in our life. I'm broken as He opens my eyes to how my ordinary life is actually pretty extraordinary. And I'm embarrassed at how so many of my mountains are actually molehills.
Are we ready to give back a child that we have fallen in love with because the court orders us to? No. Will that be really, really hard? Yes. And are we clinging to the hope that sooner rather than later, we'll meet the babe that is supposed to be with our family forever? Completely.
But that's all part of the journey of foster care. And just knowing that God is already in the tiniest details of our journey gives me peace to take the next step.
He knows who is supposed to be in our home, and He knows that every time I do my kid count in the store, or at the park, or just to make my babes laugh, that I always feel in my heart that there could be more - that someone is missing.
There's more to the puzzle, and more to the story. And because of that, we're already well into the process of being able to foster to adopt.
Do we know exactly what this is all going to look like? Or how it will all play out? Or if there will be a handful of downs before there is an up? No. But I really hope that you will pray for us if you feel led, and I'd love for you to join us for the journey that lays in front of us. We're going to need you.
So here's to a new chapter. And here's to His plan, His story, and His vision for our little family.
I'd also qualify for the "how quickly your kids can get to the bathroom door after you shut it" event.
Alright. If you see these pictures and still come back around here, you're a saint. And a great friend, please move to our neighborhood so we can drink coffee and walk to the bus stop in our pj's.
(we don't really have a bus stop but that's neither here nor there.)
I'm a big stay-on-top-of-the-laundry kind of gal. Although, the past 90 days of sweet, sweet Summer has left me a little more relaxed on the housework scene. And while I don't believe that everything should be perfect all the time (or any of the time), I also hate when things get to a point when I can't even find MY OWN clothes.
Motherhood is my sport. The laundry is where I go for the gold.