Free

I usually don't get real deep around here. Well, sometimes, but usually not on Mondays.

But writing is cheaper than therapy, amen?

We all struggle. With something, someone, some thought, some habit, etc. And so often, we keep quiet because struggle makes us feel insecure, vulnerable, or like we are letting ourselves and those around us down.

That's a lie from the enemy, by the way.

4 months or so ago when I started feeling anxiety well up in my chest way more than I'd like to admit, I didn't want to say anything. I didn't want to admit that I was having trouble with it, and I didn't want to admit that it was occupying way more of my time than it should. I felt under attack during a season of change in our life - in a way, I kinda felt plagued by worry.

It was hard. After all, how often do I hear in a store, "wow, this is a lot of little kids...you must be Super Mom!!". As I'd shuffle my anxious heart out of that aisle with my crew I'd often muffle under my breath, "if you only knew, lady."

Besides, 2 kids, 6 kids, 10 kids, or 20 kids doesn't make you super mom. Loving your kids fearlessly, putting their needs before your own, and getting out of bed in the morning and dragging your struggling heart to the toaster to make waffles is what makes you super mom.

We all do it. We should have capes.

That carefree, laid back mom who considered a stroll through Target with her half dozen a relaxing and fun outing, turned into a mom that instead said, "Why don't we just stay home instead?"

Don't worry, I still love cruising Target. It's a place dear to my heart. Team Target forever.

But I am convinced now that He lets the storm move in so He can teach you, guide you, and get your attention when you're having trouble listening. He was using this rough patch to teach me about mothering, about myself, about my lack of boundaries, that being home is SO important, and that I was missing vital time with my crew by running around town when we really didn't need to be.

I can't raise 5 homemakers in the seasonal clearance aisle at Target.

I heard somewhere recently that Satan doesn't want you to talk about your struggles, he wants to make you feel isolated and alone. He doesn't want you to know and remember the freedom you have in Christ, so he tries to keep you quiet, chained, and ashamed.

But you know what shatters his twisted plans? Bringing the darkness to light, sharing your heart with close friends in the middle of Panera Bread, and hearing them say, "oh yes, I've been there, I totally understand."

Is there anything better than hearing "I understand"?? It's a gift. For real.

God sets us free. He goes before us. And He heals our beaten down spirit.

I am free to take a deep breath, free to live a life of joy, and free to walk through Target without listening to that voice that says, "you can't handle this...you are overwhelmed...you're not good at this."

I can do this with Him, and I don't have to live with anxiety or fear or worry or any other struggle.

He. Sets. Us. Free.

Call this struggle with anxiety what you want. You can call it hormones, you can call it raising a big family, you can call it the stress of every day life. I call it staying in the grip of fear, instead of living in the grip of grace.

No more.

Today is like any other recent day. Except different. Because today I remember that I am His, and He cares about every single detail in my life. He is right there with me (and you) during those anxiety or fear filled moments.

He can kick the crap out of those moments. I just need to ask.

Is this to much on a Monday?? Yes? Sorry :). 

Everyone has something going on - everyone struggles. God wants you to talk about it, He wants you to be free :).

"When I said "My foot is slipping," your love, O Lord, supported me. When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought joy to my soul." Psalm 94: 18-19

They Have 2 Requests...

that everything is pink and purple at their birthday party.

They insist.

When I ask what kind of cake they want, they say pink and purple. And when I ask what they want for their birthday, they say pink and purple things.

So I'm taking that party theme and running with it for my almost 3yr olds this Saturday.

I've done a lot of pink parties in the past 7 years...

This time though, I am determined to do it on a budget. I can get carried away when it comes to having a party and I want to change that :)! I've got a big meal I'm going to be cooking and I even am going to venture into some cake baking...and yes, they want that pink and purple too.

Its sort of like a challenge to see what I can do and for how little. I like a challenge. Bring it on.

I love, love, love celebrating birthdays, which is why I can go over the top :).

Simple is sometimes better, right :)?

We've Been Busy...

jumping on the trampoline...

eating halloween candy...

(well, not as much them as me on the above)

(please, someone, COME GET THE CANDY)

editing pictures...

And editing more pictures. The one below is actually of one of my favorite women on the planet, she is like a sister to me, she's seen it all...

We've been busy playing hide & go seek...

playing doll house...

playing Simon Says...

and "playing" Jenga...

We've been busy staying in our pj's till lunchtime...

reading books with our SO eager-to-learn-to-read 5yr olds...

and baking lot's of homemade bread...

We've been downloading Christmas music...

drinking hot chocolate...

and getting out some of our decorations...

We've been busy wearing our fleece coats...

trying out our snow boots from last year...

and eating chicken noodle soup on chilly nights...

We've been busy, but the good kind of busy :).

Hope you all are having a great week!

These Two...

will be 3...

next week...

How is that even possible!?

(those were pics from their 1st birthday)

Oh I wish we could fence time...just for a little bit. Anyone know how :)??

Just Some Random Words

We had a quiet weekend here. Well, you know, kinda quiet.

The girls are watching a dvd we picked up at the library and I'm trying to rock Lincoln to sleep. Poor guy was up a lot of the night, I think its his ears, or maybe some teeth coming in?

It's kinda one of those mornings when I'm having trouble getting started. It's Monday, a full week lies ahead, and the only thing that keeps me from climbing back into my warm bed is the tune of these little feet running around me. That rhythm is the rhythm that keeps me going on this mom-is-moving-slow kind of morning.

I feel myself hibernating a tad. I do that from time to time...usually when life has been really busy and nothing sounds better than sitting around in your lounge clothes with the kiddos. Running errands and taking Target by storm has taken a backseat to just staying around the house and hanging out. I also hibernate when I'm pregnant.

But I'm not pregnant. So don't get all excited. Or all up in arms. Which ever you'd choose :).

It's been a tad chilly here, but that hasn't stopped us from spending loads of time outside. I think Fall is by far our favorite weather. Even though I do miss the pool just a tad.

Gods been working on my heart when it comes to mothering our crew. Showing me again about how this is a calling that needs focus, time, and lots of attention. And that I need to continue to cut back on some of our distractions, like filling our calendar, and even running too many errands - I don't always need to be shuffling them out the door to keep us busy.

Oh how I've learned lately that chaos and stress comes from all the shuffling. And to be more honest than I want to be, it's been giving this mom an anxious spirit.

I have a lot to learn about this parenting gig :).

We've been spending lot's of time being at home together, talking and folding laundry, baking and chatting, and swinging out back on that rusty ol' swingset. I'm seeing how important it is to spend as much "down time" with them as possible as they grow.

Sharing, answering, laughing, and connecting. It's hard to do those things if we're always on the go.

Someday Eric is going to build a big playset - maybe next year? Or when it fits into our time and budget :).

So we're starting our week without a ton planned. Although I am going to bake some English Muffin Bread today. Sounds yummy and I know the girls will looove it. I'll post that recipe if it turns out as good as it sounds.

I'm all the sudden that mom with all those kids who bakes her own bread and never leaves the house. Is that bad? No? Phew.

I'm trying to refrain from baking peppermint goodies as of yet. Support may be needed, my friends.

How's that for a random post!? 

I'm out for now, hope you all had a great weekend!

Yep, I Sure Do...

have my hands full.

Full of love...

full of joy...

full of crumbs on the floor...

full of crazy...

full of endless loads of laundry...

and full of beauty...

Full of laughter...

full of wonderful...

full of discipline issues...

full of time outs...

full of sweetness...

and full of afternoon talks on our ancient swing set...

Full of savvy goodness...

full of moments I'm not proud of...

full of memories...

full of mommy doubt...

full of chaos...

and full of curls...

Full of hugs...

full of kisses...

full of good days and bad days...

full of 2nd chances...

full of running around the back yard...

and full of wonder...



They're full of reminders of His grace.

Full of blessings that I don't deserve.

And full of reasons why I pull myself out of bed some mornings.

Children are a blessing.

Love that rambunctious handful that He dealt me :).

If I Was This Good Lookin'...

I'd drool all over myself too :).

I Think It's Time

We've enjoyed the Fall, we've indulged in a lot of pumpkin treats, we made our annual visit to the pumpkin patch, and we walked a handful of pumpkin princesses around the neighborhood last night...

(seriously...those skirts...worth every penny)

But I think, and I've told you before, that November 1st should be the official start of the real holiday season. Am I right? Good.

I'm reeeealy itching to get out my Christmas gear, I wait all year for it! So get out the wreaths, put up the lights, order me a Tall Peppermint Mocha, and break out the music...I just can't wait any longer :)!

C'mon, I'm not the only one who wants to decorate early, right???

Let's Discuss The House Work, Shall We?

Alright. If you see these pictures and still come back around here, you're a saint. And a great friend, please move to our neighborhood so we can drink coffee and walk to the bus stop in our pj's.

(we don't really have a bus stop but that's neither here nor there. Or anywhere.)

I have kinda...sorta...maybe let myself get out of my normal housework routine in the last few months or so - mainly the laundry, it's my nemesis. And while I don't believe that everything should be perfect all the time (or any of the time), I also hate when things get to this point and I can't even find MY OWN clothes.

I mean really, for all I know Eric could've been lost in a pile that big.

Its a funny picture, but not exactly an extra entry for housewife of the year :).

Life is busy, and the kiddos are very demanding of my time, so a lot of things in my life have taken a back seat to being an insanely full time momma. It's not a bad thing, its really all I want to do - kiss their sweet faces, help them on the swing set, and play Uno with them on a rainy day. Ahhh, its a good job, and all those things sound a lot better than folding clothes or scrubbing the toilets!

But when I can't find things, or there are so many baskets of laundry that I don't know what is clean and whats dirty, I can start to feel really frazzled and overwhelmed - neither of those things look good on me. Believe it.

I hit my breaking point last week when I was trying to do laundry to quickly because I was so behind, and I washed a pull up. People, have you ever seen the inside of a washer after a pull up has been washed? I have, please don't make me go back and re-live it...

It's too soon. Just too soon.

And while I know we have 6 kiddos and the house is not always going to be running smoothly, I've also felt a tad convicted about staying on top of my duties :). I will still embrace the saying, "Please excuse the mess, the children are making memories"...

but I do want to feel a sense of order more often than I currently do :).

What? You're play room never looks like that? Well then just close your sweet little eyes and think happy thoughts....find a happy place.

SO, this week I have reinstated my laundry system and I am on a mission to keep it going. Whats that you say? I am a foolish woman to think I can keep it up? Well, that may be true, but I'm going to try! 

My system is simple: I got all the laundry done, there is not one basket in any room with one piece of clothing - it took a lot of blood, sweat, and tears to get to that point.

Mostly tears. And weeping. Lots of weeping.

So now I lay a basket in the hallway, and at the end of the day everyone puts their clothes in it from that day. When all are in bed I take it down stairs and throw it in the washer, and switch it to the dryer before I head to bed. Then the next morning I have a clean load in the dryer to fold and put away and that's it - we're back to an empty basket in the hallway :). Insert angels singing here.

Does this just sound like a lot of jumbled words? I hope not. It has changed my life...again. I had forgotten how nice it was to have it under control.

So I tell you all this so you can pop in sometime soon and say, "hey remember that laundry system you had going? You still doing it? No? Well get back on it, woman!"

You don't have to use those exact words, you can be more gentle.

And that, my friends, is what I've been up to the last few days...you know, when I wasn't eating the pumpkin oatmeal cookies by the handful :).

Oatmeal Pumpkin (White Chocolate Chip) Cookies

I know, another pumpkin recipe? I'm sorry, we can't help ourselves. And when you bake this in your home (hopefully for your sake) sometime this week, you'll see why we can't get enough.

I know I said it before, but THESE are the best. Dare I saw they are better than the Pumpkin Butterscotch Cookies we made not long ago? Oh yes...I dare.

We basically love any form of oatmeal in this house, so when I came across this recipe I knew we had to make a version of it. I like to think that I usually have pretty good self control when it comes to desserts, unless we're talking about chocolate pudding. Or chocolate pudding pie. Or any pudding pie in general.

Alright maybe I have no control.

Anyway. These were so good out of the oven that we basically finished off the whole first batch. And they make the house smell sooo good. Here are the details...

Ingredients
2 cups all purpose flour
1 ½ cups old-fashioned oats
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 ½ teaspoon ground cinnamon
1 teaspoon pumpkin pie spice
½ teaspoon kosher salt
1 cup (2 sticks) butter; softened
1 cup packed light brown sugar
1 cup granulated sugar
1 cup pure pumpkin puree
1 large egg
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 cup white chocolate chips (I added more...surprise, surprise)

Directions
1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Line your baking sheet with a silicone mat or parchment paper.
2. Combine flour, oats, baking soda, cinnamon, pumpkin pie spice and salt in medium bowl. Beat butter, brown sugar and granulated sugar in large mixer bowl until light and fluffy.
3. Add pumpkin, egg and vanilla extract; mix well. Add flour mixture; combine until all ingredients are incorporated. Fold in white chocolate chips.
4. Drop by rounded tablespoons onto prepared baking sheets.
5. Bake for 12-14 minutes or until cookies are lightly browned. Cool on baking sheets for 2 minutes; remove to wire racks to cool completely.

We stacked them. Sometimes we like to do that.

In groups of 6.

Cause we have 6 kids.

I know, we're quarky. Don't let the quarks scare you off. Embrace them with us.

So, please make these, ok? They will make you smile, laugh out loud, jump for pumpkin joy, and possibly dance in the street. Or maybe that was just us.

Enjoy!

Things You May Or May Not Want To Know

- These 2 will be 3 in 3 weeks...

- They have started telling each other "you're my best friend". Melts. My. Heart.

- The kiddos are on the mend, knock on wood. Although little Lincoln has quite the cold that is hanging on and won't let go.

- I ventured onto Pinterest not long ago - and although I almost never get on because it can be ALL CONSUMING, I occasionally hop in there to get some inspiration. I'm a visual person and they have lots of pictures...and well, mama likes pictures. If you haven't been on, beware - It's kind of a "people go in but they never come out" kind of situation.

Anyway. I found this little thing that has revolutionized my (sometimes) messy car. (right now the husband is reading this somewhere and saying, "sometimes??") If you are the person who thought of this cereal container trash can please contact me so we can be BEST FRIENDS. Thank you.

- I took my 6 to the library.

- We checked out 17 things. Who wants to guess what our late fee will be? And why can I never get them back on time!?

- In an effort to take the crazy level down a notch during the early evening/homework/dinner time hours, I have picked up some new crockpot recipes and some easy freezer meals as well that are making life a tad less stressful. I'm going to share some soon!

- Another thing I'm working on (via Pinterest) is finding out who made this or someone who can make it - the link to the original website isn't working, and I want to get one and hang it in my living room...or dining room. Where can I get this??

- I'm planning a small overnight girls getaway for the older 3 and I :). They have never stayed in a hotel before, is that shocking to anyone? When you have 6 kids in 6 years you don't vacation much...or at all. They are SO excited for our 1 little night away! 

- Reese lost her first tooth this weekend, she was so proud! She said the kids at school said the tooth fairy is paying $20 these days. I beg to differ.

Isn't she sweet :)? Love that (really, really, really) strong willed little girl.

Well that's all for now, I'm off to get the house in order after a busy weekend! Happy Monday, friends!

Let Them Be Little

I keep telling myself that.

Only once, only for a short time, only now are they little.

So we should let them be just that, little.

Let them run around the living room, let them ask a bajillion questions, let them test you, let them hang on to your leg, let them tell you about their day, let them tell silly stories, let them know you're listening, and let them teach you how to color outside the lines...

Let them be little.

Let them play with your hair, let them help with the dishes, let them be your stress reliever, let them sit on your lap while you work, let them giggle in their room at bedtime, let them sing in the car, let them crawl in your bed when they're afraid, let them be rocked to sleep, and let them fill your space with their things...

Let them be little.

Let them call your name 100 times, let them stand at the bathroom door, let them follow you everywhere, let them tell the person behind you in line your business, let them pick out a treat, let them wear 2 different socks, and let them have their favorite sugar filled candy (gasp!!)...

Let them be little.

Let God use them in your life, let them help reveal your faults, let them help Him mold you, let them teach you patience, let them remind you about whats really important, let them come first, let them know how important they are, and let an exersaucer replace your coffee table...

(and yes, that pumpkin has no eyes. He's been picked on by...well...you know.)

Let them be little.

Let them run wild at the park without caring what the other moms think, let them do things kids do without apologizing for them, let them act goofy, let them be carefree, and let them be themselves.

Teach them, train them, and guide them. But for the love, let them be little :).

6

The girls and I always sing this to our 6 MONTH old Lincoln...we kinda made it up...and I'm pretty sure it goes along with the slinky tune.

Everyone needs a Lincoln...

You've got to get a Lincoln...
(taken the day I had him below)

Lincoln, Lincoln, go Lincoln go!!

He smiles every single time we sing it, no lie :).

6 months old. Half a year! Say it isn't so!

(hold me)

(alright, I'm better)

We love that 6 month old babe. He was definitely the missing "Linc" to our family :).

More Photography - I'm Feelin' Strappy (My Camera Couture Giveaway!)

Not sure "strappy" is the word I was looking for.

But it's catchy so let's just go with it.

Morning, all! Hopefully this post makes sense cause I am running on very little sleep :).

Taking and editing pictures is somewhat therapeutic for me. More the editing than the taking, actually. There is something about popping a picture into my software and playing with it till it looks perfect that helps me clear my mind. It is a creative outlet after a long day of taking care of sick kiddos :).

What software do I use? Oh the usual. Photoshop and Lightroom are my 2 main programs that I work in, with Lightroom being my absolute favorite. Although Photoshop is great for tiny details, Lightroom is great for quick edits and really cool effects. It's like Photoshop on lot's of caffeine.You can actually go HERE and download free trials of both, it's totally worth a try!

I also have been known to play around in Picnik and Picasa. Both are (basically) free and wonderful :).

My Camera Couture is one of my favorite companies and a go to place for me to find some fun accessories and must have items. They have straps, lens cozies, wrist straps, and more!

You know what one detail I LOVE about some of their straps? This...

You can get straps from them that are reversible or even ones that have the above phrase on the backside. Love, love, love! The owner and designer Julia Kozak is very talented and each strap is handmade in her studio...you know, when she's not chasing her two kiddos :).

SO, today she is giving you one of her straps!

To Enter - It's simple, you can enter 2 times by leaving 2 separate comments. Just pop over to their site and let us know in one of the comments what you love, ok? The winner will be chosen through random.org this time next week.

Good luck!

I'm Still Here...

but I'm under a pile of sick kiddos, and that has been keeping me quite busy.

One has it, then they give it to another one...and another one...and another one...and so on. Before I know it, it's swung back around to the one who had it initially. Sigh...

I'm tired.

But thankful that I've had some extra snuggle time with my loves :).

3 of them have croup tonight, one of those being Lincoln, which is really worrying me since he's so little. I hate croup, it just can get scary so fast. He's asleep right here beside me and I'm praying that he (or the other 2) don't get any worse through the night.

(this is where you hug me and remind my tired self that everything will be alright.)

(or you could send Starbucks. Yea, Starbucks would make me feel better too.)

SO, we'll be back to our goofy selves soon...

Or at least I hope we are, these germs are really cramping our style.

Target hasn't seen us in 8 days, I don't want them to start to worry.

I'm out for now to catch some zzz's while my little's are resting. Hope you all had a great weekend and a wonderful Monday!