Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Patience...

I need to get a little more.

I'm just a tad sleep deprived. And for that reason, I've been a little less than patient. I somehow suckered myself into believing that I would be some kind of superwoman after I had the babe and get everything back to normal promptly while changing diapers, nursing, and cleaning the house at the same time.

I don't know what happened, friends. The super powers and cape never showed up. Maybe it went to the wrong address??

I've been a little snippy with the girls. I've had a few nights when I put them all in bed and sit down and think, "I was a crappy mom today...there's no other way to say it." You've been there, right? You know the nights when you want to go back up to their room, wake them up, and tell them you're sorry for the way you acted? I hate that feeling.

I've been convicted of it lately, and really realizing that not only do I not like how "impatient" looks on me, but I'm flat out setting a bad example when I'm short tempered. These kids, pick up everything. I read this verse somewhere in relation to how you react to your kids...

A gentle answer turns away wrath,
but a harsh word stirs up anger. Proverbs 15:1

I can't stop thinking of that when I'm feeling close to losing it with the girls.

For laughs, let me give you an example. I might have mentioned before that one of our 5yr olds is quite the talker...and by talker I mean, she asks a million questions. Especially when I'm in the middle of something or trying to think and I've asked her to be quiet. It goes something like this...

Me: Reese, please be quiet just for a minute...
Reese: But Mom I need to tell you something...
Me: No you don't...
Reese: But I really need to tell you...
Me: You really don't...
Reese: But I dooooo...plleeaasse...moooooommmm...
Me: What is it, Reese?
Reese: Um, um, um, um, um, um...how tall are you?

(Please excuse me while I bang my head against the wall.)


(Deep breath in, a calm and loving response back to that spunky little love.)

It's funny, I get mad at them for not listening sometimes, but  how many times does the Lord wish I would stop talking and just listen? Probably more times than I'd care to admit.

They are little, they are sweet, they are good little girls, and they are doing the best they can - as is their mama. Again, life is not an emergency. The world isn't going to end if the laundry doesn't get put away.

I think we'd all be a little less stressed out if we weren't trying to do a million things at once...or maybe I'm the only one who does that. I am a multi-tasker, but I have found that I am more likely to snap at someone when I'm trying to concentrate on 10 things instead of 1.

Maybe I just need to slow things down a bit.

The Lord is and has been more than patient with me, the least I could do is try to be more patient with them. So I'm trying. And  I'm putting that verse on my fridge so I can re-read it over and over.

(In case you're wondering I'm at the fridge a lot cause all my...uh...diet foods are in there. Oh who am I kidding, it's because there are Twix in the freezer. Moving on.)

So today I tackle this patience thing again as I work my way through each new day of motherhood. Hopefully today, with His help, and maybe the help of some sweet caffeine from Starbucks, I will do a little better :).

15 comments:

Jen said...

Kate,
I haven't commented yet..I am a busy mom too. :)
But, I discovered your blog through my friend, RuthAnne and I really enjoy reading it...You are an inspiration.
Hang in there. It does get better.
(my baby is now 7 months old. The first months weren't easy.)
Good success. You can do it :)
Jen

Jen said...

Oh, I forgot the whole reason I wanted to comment is ...The 5 year old (and my 3 year old) talker. YES! Can i relate! It IS rough, especially when you are so exhausted you can barely process what they are even saying. ;)

Marva said...

Thanks for keeping it real and reminding all of us Mommas out there that we all need more patience where we are on this parenting journey. Praying for you!

Romberg Family said...

Oh man do i know what your talking about!! The second we get in the car..where are we going, why are we going this way, where are we going after this, where are we going after that, whats tomorrow? It drives me up a wall!! I think of you quite often through out the day. I think if you can do it with 6 then i can do it with half of that!!

*Katy* said...

I have never heard that verse before, but I think I'm going to have to put it up now that I've seen it.

I understand the feeling of being tired and frustrated-but I don't have kids yet! I keep apologizing to my hubby because I'm losing it, and luckily he understands, but hopefully soon he won't have to...and maybe having this verse around will help :)

Anonymous said...

Funny you posted this today. I had many guilt induced dreams about over reacting and grouching at my eldest kiddo last night. While it is important to recognize our low points and try not to repeat them, remember the Lord does not want us to wallow in guilt, as that can make the problem worse rather than moving on to better choices. Good luck today Mama! One day at a time.

Sarah said...

this. THIS is what I needed. Thanks for the reminder Kate. You are an incredible mom & friend and I'm thankful that the Lord brought you into my life... you know... in a way :)

Marisa said...

Ahh, the non-stop jibber-jabber and questions. I have been guilty of trying to multi-task while these questions are flying right by me. I'm embarrassed to admit I've had to have them repeat themselves 3 times because as soon as they repeat themselves the second time my mind is on something else and I don't pay attention to what they are saying. Not good. (Usually when I'm trying to make dinner and reading a recipe). Thank goodness they are patient with me and, of course, never tire of repeating those questions. :)

I definitely could use that verse plastered several places in my house.

Nikki said...

Thank you for this post, for letting me know that I'm not alone. When I don't feel well, I get snippy, too, and I've been pretty short lately with my children. And my not-quite-five-year-old (next Thursday!) drives me insane with those same kind of questions, and I think my son (3) is starting to pick it up. Ugh!

The problem for us mothers is that there is ALWAYS something else to be done. There are always dishes to put away or wash, laundry to be done, floors to be swept or vacuumed. And since no one else is going to do it (no matter how wonderful our husbands are, let's be honest, they're not going to do it), if we don't do it, it won't get done. And I get tired of looking at it, and I'm sure you do, too. It's hard to slow down.

cowartclan said...

Patience is what I am constantly asking my husband to pray for me about. Hang in there! Good verse choice!

Sarah said...

Wow. This has been me exactly lately. Today actually. I notice the same thing with me...being less patient when I'm trying to do too many things at once. Also telling them to be patient with each other and then I'm not with them. So I'm working on patience too. :-) It takes almost constant prayer on my part. I like the "life is not an emergency" saying. I'll have to remember that.

Coral Hoen said...

Thanks for quoting that verse, it really spoke to me today and will also be going up on our fridge. I have three girls, so like half the number of kids you have! But so often I relate to what you say. Thankyou for you honest words.
Coral

Ruth said...

*gasp* You're already on "putting laundry away" stage?! My l0 loads of laundry are still sitting in an un-folded pile.

I hear you on the patience thing. Yesterday, my kids wanted to surprise me. I was outside pruning and weeding in my flower beds, and they made me coffee and salad all by themselves! I didn't actually *yell*, but with the huge mess all over the kitchen, I didn't express my gratefulness for their thoughtfulness and sweetness the way I should have. I know they could tell I was discouraged by the big mess.

So yeah, they went outside and as I was cleaning up their "surprise," I was thinking, "I just bruised their sweet hearts and pushed them away, instead of using this to tie another mom/kid heartstring."

trooppetrie said...

how many times did I not listen to God, being quiet is really hard for me

The Skinny Turtle said...

I so get you on the patience issue. And I can clearly see when my kids pick up on MY impatience, and then act that way towards others. Eek!

It's something we all have to work on, I think. And yes, when the other kids are talking talking talking talking about mundane things, or things that totally don't matter or aren't relevant... well, it messes up the thought process!

Owen has this thing where he'll be hemming and hawing but INSISTING he has something to say... and then he'll just end up saying, "I like you, mom!" Which is very sweet, but also so frustrating when I just need to finish doing what I started! :-)

Anyway, you're not alone and I think I'll copy you and post that verse on my fridge too, because it really does work that way! When I have a soft answer for them it makes things so much smoother and more peaceful.